My motherhood journey - not what I expected!

Hello everyone, I hope that this post finds you safe and healthy. Cases are rising so please remember to do your part to keep not only yourself safe but your loved ones. Most mornings, our little one wakes up with a big smile. This morning, he had that same big smile...but a certain distinct smell accompanied that smile. He had pooped - which is normal. But, when I picked him up - there was wetness and a dark tint to his pajamas, sleeper and bed sheet... yeah, that is how my day started. The only relief I had was that I caught it early enough that nothing was too badly stained and all could be salvaged. So, that was good! Also, he was so happy because he had released himself and knew he was about to get a nice bottle of milk. He chugged it and fell asleep. And the weird thing is that I feel so blessed that my morning started this way. I can already hear you thinking: "How can that have been a blessing?" Let me explain. I was blessed because I got to wake up in my bed. I was b...

Hello everyone, I hope and pray that when you read this, you are keeping safe and healthy.  One of the hardest things I have had to deal with is finding joy when it comes to parenting...especially when I started being more with the kids. Don't get me wrong... I love my children and would die for them, but there are days when I am just unable to find any joy. This tends to happen on the harder days - when everyone is cranky and screaming and there is just pure chaos... but even on good days, I still find it hard to find joy always. It's a battle that most moms experience, especially when they have multiple children. No matter the age group, they still struggle. With Covid having most having to stay home with their kids and helping out with e-learning and not having them be able to play sports or outside like they could... I know it has been challenging. For us, because the kids are so small, our outings were already pretty restricted... but still, our planned vacations have beco...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy!  Here is a scenario: the kids are awake and you know there are in the house...you could hear move and play around and then, it got quiet - very quiet! You think: 1) maybe they just fell asleep on the floor - totally unlikely 2) they found a treasure and are mesmerized - totally unlikely and 3) they are up to no good - MOST LIKELY SCENARIO!!! Then, you begin to panic a bit and start looking around for them. Your hope is that your house is not starting to burn or that your walls are still intact or that one of your kids is not stuffing the other one through the banister...  Yes, quiet is nice when you have small children...because they are all sleeping. But when you know they are not sleeping --- when you know they are in the house...but you don't know where and it suddenly got very quiet...yeah, you panic! You panic because you are know they are up to no good. I used to hear stories from my s...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. Remember to wear your masks - they are not restricting your rights, they are saving lives! DISCLAIMER - this post deals with very serious subject matter and will be, at times, a bit graphic - beware! My ex-boyfriend's mom, she died of breast cancer. It was tragic because she was in her fifties and was full of life. But, she did one very stupid thing - she ALWAYS put herself last. She had pain in her breast for a while but thought nothing of it. Then, when she could no longer stand the pain, she went to the doctor. It showed up on her mammogram and surgery was the next step.  She had her surgery, but they closed her up as soon as they cut into her. The cancer was all over and had spread so massively, that even with chemo, she did not have much of a chance. She still underwent treatments because she had hope. Unfortunately, in the summer of 2002, she died. She fought a long battle, but it was one t...

Hello everyone, I hope and pray that you are keeping safe and healthy. New mask mandates are popping out all over the nation - be sure that you are doing your part. Don't see it as a way to restrict your freedoms, but as a way to protect you and your loved ones!  Last night, a close family member went into the hospital. She is almost eight months pregnant and started bleeding heavily. When I heard, my heart sank. Praise God, as of this morning, the bleeding has gone down. But she is still not out of the woods - so, please, keep her in your prayers. As this was going on, I heard myself think: "Yeah, I am glad I never had to go through that!" And I meant it!! It was not even me in that situation, and I could barely sleep all night...so, imagine how she was feeling. She also had to be all alone because no visitors are allowed due to Covid. I know God is with her, but I can also imagine her fear and apprehension.  There are instances when I feel sadness because I did not get ...

Hello everyone, I hope this email finds you well, safe and healthy. Remember to wash your hands, not touch your face and wear your masks! They are not there to restrict you but to save lives - the lives of the people you love and cherish! A few weeks back, during a therapy session, I said that I felt inefficient because I was doing more house work than work. He looked at me through the screen - yes, I do online therapy - and he said: "What do you mean? Are you implying that house work and taking care of your children is not work?" I looked back and said: "No???" And then, it hit me - wait, that is work!!! I googled what kind of salary would a stay-at-home make in 2020. I was rather shocked by the amount and I think you will too. Are you ready? If I had a salary, it would be over $160,000!!!! Crazy, right? And some of you may be thinking, why would we be making so much? Trust me, I asked the same question. So, let's itemize what a stay-at-home does. Common tasks ...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. Remember to wash your face, not touch your face and wear your mask. The wearing of mask is not restricting your rights - it is saving the lives of those you love! I went to the doctor with our boys. The nurses, knowing our kids are adopted, asked if I had children of my own. In my head, I knew they were asking about biological children - yet, they said: children of your own... I should have clarified by saying: "You mean biological children?" Instead, it went right through me and I answered that we lost her a few years ago. Only when I was in the car did it register..."Wait!!! What just happened???" And then, I was so thankful that the kids were small and could not understand what was going on. Yet ... if they had understood and heard my answer, they would have been upset and confused. You see, many people still think of adopted children as "adopted" and that's it! And altho...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. Remember to wash your face, not touch your face and wear your masks. Today, I had a dentist appointment. I was finally putting in my crowns - I had a few mishaps because of some sensitivity which led to a root canal. Anyways, I was just happy to get it done, because I had been in pain for a while - a few months, actually. I have a wonderful and very pleasant dental assistant who is taking my mind off things. She is chatting away and I was so relaxed. We started to talk about life and all - then, she tells me she and her husband did not want children. I told her that if they ever changed their mind, I knew someone who could help them with an adoption. She told me she was forty-five and I stopped her - Woah! You look amazing and are only one year older than me and you look younger!! You look amazing!!! She laughed and said: Of course I look younger than you...you have children that you worry about all ...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. If you are in an area where cases are rising, please wear your masks. Don't think of this as an inconvenience but as way to protect your loved ones. This is how my "Fantasy Mom Day" would go like: It is still dark outside. I have woken up at 5:30am to get a fresh start to my day. There is a slight odor of apple cinnamon in the house, as I started burning my new candle in my kitchen. I have already started a load of laundry and unloaded the dishwasher. The coffee is brewing and my bagel is ready to be buttered.  As I sip my first cup of coffee, I get dressed, get my hair and makeup done and go off to pray and journal. Once that is done, I get to my second cup of coffee and eat my bagel. I do this while watching an episode of The Great British Baking Show.  The first load is done. I toss it into the dryer and start on my second load. Hopefully, by the time the kids wake up, all my laundry...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. This virus appears to be picking-up again, so please remember to wash your face, not touch your face and wear a face mask. Don't see the face mask as a sign of oppression but as one that could save a life - especially if it's a family member you love. Yesterday, I went to the store - I mean, I went INTO an actual store. I was with my husband and we took all the necessary precautions. Yet, what an odd feeling it was. My body language said it all: I was cowering and constantly holding my hands. I felt nervous and yet excited. But when my husband started to touch things at the store, it just got me worried. And then, it happened, again - I started breaking out into hives. Since the pandemic, it has been hard for all of us. So many have lost family members and friends. People have lost jobs and are still losing them because stores and businesses cannot keep up with all the changes that are required in or...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. Remember to wash your hands, not touch your face and wear your face mask. The pandemic is far from over, so be careful and protect your loved ones. A few years back, I watched a YouTube video. It was a skit from a English comedian, Michael McIntyre. The title was "People Without Children have No Idea What it's Like!" Here is the link if you wish to go and laugh - and trust me, if you have children, YOU WILL LAUGH!!! https://youtu.be/eC6eHraeMes When we watched it, we did not have children. This video did not discourage us from pursuing to have a family. But, looking back, I can see how couples may not want to grow a family.  It is true: things do change when you have kids, even more when you have more than one. In fact, I can personally attest that having only one child is easy. Our daughter was calm and sweet and gave us no issues. When we started having more, she became the Queen of the castl...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. My sister and her husband had to move far from home when he started at his new job. They were a five hour drive away and had no family or friends near them. They had a 9 month old and their daughter was on the way. It would be challenging but it would be okay...right? I learned a lot from my sister during that time. It was amazing to see how she handled being far from everyone and then having two small children under the age of two. It must have been so difficult, especially during the harsh winter months. We would always keep in touch via Skype or Messenger. It made me feel better when I saw that she was doing well. However, when she was sick, I felt so powerless. I just kept thinking: how awful that she has those two little kids to take care of while she is so sick. How is she handling it?  Then, years later, it happened to me. I was sick with the kids and I had no one to help me out. My husban...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy! If you are in an area where Covid-19 has picked up back again - remember to wash your hands, not touch your face and wear your mask. I am writing a little later than usual because I woke up ill during the night. I chose to rest and sleeping a few hours might have done the trick - sometimes, your body tells you that it has to rest and if you don't listen, it will make you listen! Procrastination...yeah, that feeling of: I will do it later because right now, I have to watch another episode of The Office. Then, you hit a deadline, have guests coming, need to get to that place or whatever else you had to do but were procrastinating about and it hits you: WHY DID I NOT DO THIS BEFORE???  Panic sets in and you go in full mode to accomplishing whatever that task was. You scramble to get things done, you are going a mile a second because this was way overdue. Once it is done, you are exhausted and vow th...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. Remember to follow your local government's orders when it comes to wearing face masks. Don't be annoyed with it - it is there to protect you from others and others from you. The other day, I realized that we, parents, do a lot of weird things when we become parents. You tend to talk baby language when they are newborn and make all these funny smiles and faces. You are right there with them in the sand box or water table - sometimes, even the pool. You play silly games and have pretend meals... and then, you start to incorporate props to help you in dire circumstances. I was waiting for my husband to get ready before taking the kids outside. I had to entertain and quick because they were beginning to get restless. I needed something that would surprise them and that could be used in a variety of ways. I searched around for anything that I could find. And then, I found it: the empty cereal box!...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy! Make sure you have your face masks on, especially if they are mandated by your local government. Don't wear the mask for you - wear it so you don't infect others! How many of you out there are able to say this very simple word: No? I am guessing all of you can, EXCEPT when someone asks you to do something or a favor. If you are a mom, you are already at a disadvantage because moms are notorious for not being able to say no. So, not many of you are able to say no. Right? That's what I thought! And no worries - I suck at it too. There are a few reasons why we are unable to say no. We fear being told that we are not reliable, selfish, not wanting to be there for others, being more interested in foolish things, unable to just help out mankind... and let's be real... We can't help out with everything out there because we are only one person! But we let others guilt us into doing things...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy! Remember to wash your hands, not touch your face and wear your face mask (don't forget to keep your nose in the mask). I don't like change - I actually hate it. I am very much someone who likes her routine and the moment something comes to disrupt it, I feel like I am losing control - like I ever had any! And I know that change is good. Change is very good. Change makes you grow. Change makes you better. But change also makes you feel unstable and I love stability. Whenever my routine changes, or is about to change, I get antsy. I am not spontaneous...at all! To me, change is like getting into a hot bath and I have to go in one shot. I, on the other hand, will want to go in one toe at a time and ease myself into a hot bath. Same thing with change - I have to be prepared and then, I have to ease into it little by little. Once I have fully embraced the change, I can then put it into my routine and I am...

Hello everyone, I hope you are all safe and healthy. I send out prayers to all who have suffered tragic losses at the hands of this very dangerous virus. Defeat - what a toddler makes you feel like on a daily basis, sometimes, hourly - depending how things go. This past month, I have been defeated many times because of our toddler. She is wonderful and we love her - but YIKES - TODDLERHOOD IS HARD!!! And, if I think it's hard, I can only imagine how difficult it is for her because she is the one going through it all... There are days when I feel like I did so well with her. Then, there are days where I think I am just the worst mom and that I have no idea how to handle her. And the only comfort I have is that, just like anything else, this too shall pass. I wish people told you the real deal when it comes to toddlers - for a while, I thought I was a horrible parent because our daughter would bite, hit and throw tantrums - turns out - she is normal and I was worrying for nothing... ...

Hello everyone, I hope you all enjoyed a great and blessed 4th of July! Sorry for my absence but my husband was on vacation and we took a week to just make memories!  Wherever you are, please remember that Covid-19 is still rampant and you need to wash your hands, not touch your face, wear your masks (just do it!) and go places ONLY when it is essential. Social distancing is key when it comes to this virus. Today's topic - I think every mom can relate to it. As we move along the different stages of our lives, we evolve and we change who we are. We begin as babies then move on to children and then teenagers and, finally, adults. It is during our adulthood that many life altering events take place - however, there are many who go through such events in their younger years. During my adulthood, I became a law graduate, went on to working at a law firm, got engaged, married and moved countries - and, after years of infertility, I became a mom through the wonderful gift of adoption. And...