Being a Mom - You Never Put Yourself First!

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Hello everyone,

I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. Remember to wear your masks - they are not restricting your rights, they are saving lives!

DISCLAIMER - this post deals with very serious subject matter and will be, at times, a bit graphic - beware!

My ex-boyfriend's mom, she died of breast cancer. It was tragic because she was in her fifties and was full of life. But, she did one very stupid thing - she ALWAYS put herself last. She had pain in her breast for a while but thought nothing of it. Then, when she could no longer stand the pain, she went to the doctor. It showed up on her mammogram and surgery was the next step. 

She had her surgery, but they closed her up as soon as they cut into her. The cancer was all over and had spread so massively, that even with chemo, she did not have much of a chance. She still underwent treatments because she had hope. Unfortunately, in the summer of 2002, she died. She fought a long battle, but it was one that was too aggressive and she had no chance.

Her story is not uncommon. Most women always think that what they have is normal. Oh, these migraines are nothing - my crazy hormones. And then, you get diagnosed with a brain tumor and have six months to live. You started to experience very heavy and smelly bleeding during your period - oh, it's just menopause...and you get diagnosed with cancer and it is Stage IV - this actually happened to a close family friend and it's a miracle she survived! Stories like these are so common that when I hear them, I only feel frustration and much anger...

My mom had heavy bleeding during her periods. She never consulted and assumed that it was just how it was because she was getting older...and then, she started gushing blood... Within two weeks, she was scheduled for surgery and had to undergo a hysterectomy in her early 40's. She was lucky it was not cancer because that is what the doctor thought it was as the blood started gushing as he was simply trying to examine her... We, my sister and I, are extremely grateful that she made it through and is now healthy!

We, women, are idiots when it comes to taking care of us. We take care of everyone else except ourselves. On a plane, we don't put our mask on first - NO...we put everyone's else mask first and then, we put ... oh wait, we died because we did not take care of us first... 😖

WHY??? WHY WOULD WE DO THAT?? I, honestly, don't know except to think that we do it because we have this irrational way of thinking - if we don't take care of everyone else, we are not doing our job... and that is where we are utterly wrong! If you don't take care of you, you will be of no good to those around you. If you don't take the time to be good to you - you will wear yourself out, stretch yourself too thin and then...you will unable to be there for your family and friends.

And yes - nobody likes going to the doctor. Nobody likes being stuck with needles, having our breasts flattened out like a thin sheet of paper and let's not forget the all-time favorite of women - Pap smears... However, in the grand scheme of things, those exams take minutes of your life and could prevent you from no longer having any minutes to your life. Suck it up and go to the doctor!!! You are worth so much to your family and friends. If you do not take care of you, then, you don't love your family and friends.

I get it - no one likes those doctor visits and they are always uncomfortable. Well, I no longer am! How did I get over it? Simple - when I had my surgery, the anesthesiologist was one of my husband's colleagues... yeah, after one of your husband's colleague sees you naked - nothing bothers you anymore. And again, it's just minutes of you life and within a flash, it's over and done with!

Ladies - let's put our health first so that we can be the best version of ourself. Take the time to go to the doctor, the dentist, get blood work, get your mammograms, get your Pap test, and ...be good and kind to yourself. If you don't give yourself that love, how can you give it to those around you?

Until my next post, please keep safe and healthy. Remember to wash your hands, not touch your face and wear your face masks. 

SM

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