Finding Joy - A Mom's Daily Struggle

Hello everyone,

I hope and pray that when you read this, you are keeping safe and healthy. 

One of the hardest things I have had to deal with is finding joy when it comes to parenting...especially when I started being more with the kids. Don't get me wrong... I love my children and would die for them, but there are days when I am just unable to find any joy. This tends to happen on the harder days - when everyone is cranky and screaming and there is just pure chaos... but even on good days, I still find it hard to find joy always.

It's a battle that most moms experience, especially when they have multiple children. No matter the age group, they still struggle. With Covid having most having to stay home with their kids and helping out with e-learning and not having them be able to play sports or outside like they could... I know it has been challenging. For us, because the kids are so small, our outings were already pretty restricted... but still, our planned vacations have become staycations and we don't feel rested or rejuvenated after them...

Finding joy is a challenge. My days are comprised of fighting with my older ones to eat anything substantial. I have our four month old that, although very calm, he needs more attention than the other two. After each meal, it is a struggle to clean up and get things back to normal. Playing can be either fun or a battle where I need to play the referee because it seems that one toy is desired by both of the older kids, at the same time... Sharing is a concept that was clearly not invented by children...

I remember days when I was unable to shower and was still in my robe and pajamas when my husband got home. I had days where my only food intake was the kids threw on the floor or what was left on their plates. Some days, well - they were bad. I did have to tell my husband to come home earlier, at times, because I could not hear screaming anymore. Yeah, those were the days when our oldest was having her eye teeth coming out and she was just miserable - poor kid. 

Those were hard days and every mom goes through them. We, somehow, through God's grace, we get through them because we have no other choice. I remember reading once that God only gives us what He knows we can handle. I am not a fan of that saying, but have found it to be true in many instances. And trust me, there were days where I had no idea how I was going to pull it off - especially on those days when I was sick and had no one that could help me. This is the hardest for moms - when they are sick...

Yet, we do make it work because that is what a mom does - especially when she is sick or is not able to have help. Now, we do have help and it is something that I am VERY...no...EXTREMELY grateful for. If I am sick, I can feel less guilty about taking a nap to get some rest. I can just rely on help that I would, normally, not be able to get - our family is not living near us ... they are in another country... and so, to be so blessed with help, it is something that I do not take for granted. For moms who do not have help, I know what it is like and I also know that you just make the best of it and just do what needs to be done.

Moments where I find joy are precious and I try to smile more when I do my usual mom thing - even cleaning the floor. Yes, i find joy in the fact that my new electric mop can help me make the floors safe for the kids to play on. I find joy in a diaper change because I have easy access to diapers. I find joy in making their lunches - even though they don't always eat them - but sometimes, they surprise me and have everything that I put in front of them... so, you have to sometimes work really hard to find joy - but when you do, you smile and you smile because you remember that you love those kids and that they make you a better person.

Are you struggling to find joy? You are not alone. Most of us have a hard time. So, I am going to challenge you: for the next month, you will have to write down five things each day that brought you joy from your kids. It will not be easy and there will be days where you can't even find one, but the point of the exercise is to help you to find joy and see things from a different perspective.

Hang in there - we are in this together! 

Until my next post, please remember to wash your hands, not touch your face, wear your face masks and do your part in stopping the spread of Covid-19.

SM