How Covid-19 has Affected my Family

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Hello everyone,

I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. This virus appears to be picking-up again, so please remember to wash your face, not touch your face and wear a face mask. Don't see the face mask as a sign of oppression but as one that could save a life - especially if it's a family member you love.

Yesterday, I went to the store - I mean, I went INTO an actual store. I was with my husband and we took all the necessary precautions. Yet, what an odd feeling it was. My body language said it all: I was cowering and constantly holding my hands. I felt nervous and yet excited. But when my husband started to touch things at the store, it just got me worried. And then, it happened, again - I started breaking out into hives.

Since the pandemic, it has been hard for all of us. So many have lost family members and friends. People have lost jobs and are still losing them because stores and businesses cannot keep up with all the changes that are required in order to sustain social distancing. You go out and you notice that people are wearing masks and it is scary to see that we have come to this...

I think of the healthcare workers in those places where cases were out of control. I remember seeing those pictures of mass burial sites - in New York. I am still haunted by the deserted hotels in Detroit that became morgues because there was no more place for the all the bodies. All those funerals that could not take place. All those people that died without family members around them - if lucky, they could say goodbye via Skype, Zoom or any other online platform.

For us, it came close as my husband was tested twice - the second time, we thought it would be positive because he was having a sore throat. We were blessed that he has not tested positive, but each time I see him go out to work - with his nose covered in Desitin to relieve his nose from the pressure of the N95 mask. I fear for my nieces and nephews that need to have face masks when going back to school and all the extra steps that are being taken to keep them safe.

And then, I keep reminding myself that this too shall pass... But why am I just unable to let it go? Why is it that when I am outside and it's nice and sunny, I can't enjoy myself? I know my anxiety is hitting me hard, but lately, it's just getting worst: panic attacks during the night, hives, having to take Xanax on a more regular basis, not wanting to be outside ...

We are lucky that the kids are too small to even begin to comprehend what is going on. And we have been blessed with not having to deal with any sickness or any lay-offs. Yet, I am so anxious about this whole situation that it is just getting worse - and it's going to be here for another year...at least!

And I know what you will be thinking - yes, this too shall pass, but it's been months since I have been able to be out of the house and be able to do regular things. With a spouse that works at the hospital, you just can't be too careful. He comes home from work and he has to go in through a separate door and shower and change clothes to prevent us from getting anything that he may be carrying with him. 

The solution is easy - I need to get a grip and find a way, or ways, of handling this better. I do exercise regularly, I try to eat well, I have cut down on coffee and alcohol and snacks - getting enough sleep, well, that is harder since we have three small children... but I am keeping busy, trying not to watch news, trying not to talk about it either...and clearly not wanting to speak about all the charts that are out there...

Each day is a day closer to getting rid of Covid-19. Each day is a day closer to a world without Covid-19. But in order for it to happen, we need to bend together. We need to just follow the rules.

As for me, I have to accept that Covid-19 is here to stay until it goes away. I have to learn how to live with Covid-19. I have to do what I need to do to get out of this pandemic resilient. And the only person that can help me is me...only me. 

How are you coping? How are you handling it? Please share and let's build our community and be in this together.

Until my next post, please keep safe, wash your hands, don't touch your face and wear your face mask.

SM

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