Sometimes, I am Grateful that I am Infertile!

-
Hello everyone,

I hope and pray that you are keeping safe and healthy. New mask mandates are popping out all over the nation - be sure that you are doing your part. Don't see it as a way to restrict your freedoms, but as a way to protect you and your loved ones! 

Last night, a close family member went into the hospital. She is almost eight months pregnant and started bleeding heavily. When I heard, my heart sank. Praise God, as of this morning, the bleeding has gone down. But she is still not out of the woods - so, please, keep her in your prayers.

As this was going on, I heard myself think: "Yeah, I am glad I never had to go through that!" And I meant it!! It was not even me in that situation, and I could barely sleep all night...so, imagine how she was feeling. She also had to be all alone because no visitors are allowed due to Covid. I know God is with her, but I can also imagine her fear and apprehension. 

There are instances when I feel sadness because I did not get to experience all the things surrounding a natural pregnancy. I will never have a pregnancy announcement, a baby shower, a gender reveal, a birth story, hearing the first heartbeat... Those things will never be my experience. I have lived them vicariously through others. For example, years ago, I went with my sister to one of her appointments. I was able to go into the ultrasound room and I heard and saw her baby girl on the screen. It was a special moment - one I will cherish forever.

Then, there are times when I hear of these situations that I think: "Yeah, not sad that I am not pregnant with that situation..." And I think that I am not alone in thinking that - whether you are infertile or not. Let's be honest, no one gets sad because they did not get to experience a traumatic birth or pregnancy... 

I have a special place in my heart and prayers for women who experienced traumatic pregnancies and deliveries. I can only imagine what kind of pain and grief these women went through. The loss of a child is something I experienced and I am still grieving - especially when I lost her and when she would have been born. Yet, there are so many women who have gone through a stillbirth or loss right after delivery. What a horrific thing to have gone through - and I can only imagine the hard road to grief and mourning.

I do want to add that if God had put this type of situation in my life... I would have had no other choice but to deal with it. But, I'll admit that I am "relieved" - although, I am not sure that is the proper word... but just grateful that I never did...and I am sure there are many of you out there who feel the same way.

Are you someone who had a traumatic pregnancy or delivery? If you have or are, know that you hold a place in my heart and prayer. I can't say that I know how it feels or it felt like, but I can imagine how awful it was and is. I hope you have gotten the support you needed or need. I pray for your healing.

Remember to keep safe and healthy!
SM

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Joy and Motherhood - I don't always have it!

-
Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you healthy and blessed. I have a three, almost two and a one year old. We were very blessed at each adoption process and were matched with a birthmom fairly quickly. As such, we adopted three children within twenty-six months. Was it planned? Not at all! And before you ask, let me say that for each of them, we never hesitated and welcomed them in our home, without any reservations. Was it challenging? Obviously, it was! I would be lying if I said it was all rosy and perfect. When we adopted our oldest son, it was very rough with our daughter - who happened to be in the middle of teething - and each day, it was a mix of screaming matches and tantrums. But, it passed and we got some help because my mental health was taking a huge hit. When it came to adopting our youngest son, it was challenging. We had a two year old, an almost one year and a premiee. The challenge was not so much having another child, but the tragic reality that we were at the be...
Read more

Thoughts to my infertile readers

-
Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you healthy and blessed. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine texted me and asked for prayers. She and her husband found out a family member was pregnant. They were happy for her, but being infertile, their hearts were aching inside. An ache I knew and still know so well. Today, I want to share some thoughts with those who read my posts and are infertile. No matter where you are in your infertility journey: just finding out, going through it or have lived with it for years, the pain is always present.  I would first like to extend my heart and prayers to all of you who ache for a child. That longing lodges itself so deep inside and hurts each time we are reminded of it. It will lie dormant for a while, and resurface when you least expect it or need to be reminded of it. You need to know that even though that longing will never dissipate, it will get better - I promise you that! Trust me. Then, I wish to tell you that you are not alone. Even if al...
Read more