Toddlerhood - I Feel Defeated!

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Hello everyone,

I hope you are all safe and healthy. I send out prayers to all who have suffered tragic losses at the hands of this very dangerous virus.

Defeat - what a toddler makes you feel like on a daily basis, sometimes, hourly - depending how things go. This past month, I have been defeated many times because of our toddler. She is wonderful and we love her - but YIKES - TODDLERHOOD IS HARD!!! And, if I think it's hard, I can only imagine how difficult it is for her because she is the one going through it all...

There are days when I feel like I did so well with her. Then, there are days where I think I am just the worst mom and that I have no idea how to handle her. And the only comfort I have is that, just like anything else, this too shall pass.

I wish people told you the real deal when it comes to toddlers - for a while, I thought I was a horrible parent because our daughter would bite, hit and throw tantrums - turns out - she is normal and I was worrying for nothing... goodness!! But when you read about it, it makes you feel as though you should have mastered this by now...yet, who said that I had to master it all??? oh yeah...ME!!! Seriously? Why do I do this to myself???

On days of total defeat, I think back to what a dad once told me - hey, you have bad days? well, so do they... and that was EXACTLY what I needed to hear! I needed to hear that because that was something that I could relate to. When I have a bad day, I am not my best - actually, I am at my worst! So, the same applies to her. 

And so, I roll up my sleeves and I plow on and I just listen to her, watch her movements and do the best that I can do with what I have. I also have to stop thinking that my toddler is the most misbehaved little girl - because she is not. She hits because she does not speak fully yet and she just can't tell us what is going on. She gets angry or afraid when her younger brother is around because she fears that he may take her place. She is joyful and laughs until it makes me laugh (which is usually within seconds) and she has these dark eyes that melt my heart repeatedly... 

Through her, I have learned how to be more patient and merciful towards myself. She is teaching me to just be and live in the moment. She is teaching me to pay attention to others and be more empathetic. She is teaching me how to live through the eyes of innocence. 

Today - it's not a good day. She has not been sleeping well for a while. She is in the wonderful stage of climbing of her crib and so tonight we have to transition her crib into a toddler bed...and she is in a horrible mood because last night she fell asleep at ten in the evening and was up before eight this morning... long sentence and just writing it makes me want to hug her so hard.

But, tomorrow is another day - and today, although not a great day, she is alive, is eating, peeing and pooping like she should and just being what she is - a toddler.

For all you moms and dads out there who are wondering if you are doing a good job with your toddler...let me tell you this: YOU GOT THIS AND ARE DOING GREAT!!! Hang in there, we are in this together and we will get through this, because this too shall pass.

Until my next post, keep safe and healthy!

SM

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