The More Kids You Have, the Longer it Takes to Leave the House
Hello everyone,
I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. Remember to wash your hands, not touch your face and wear your face mask. The pandemic is far from over, so be careful and protect your loved ones.
A few years back, I watched a YouTube video. It was a skit from a English comedian, Michael McIntyre. The title was "People Without Children have No Idea What it's Like!" Here is the link if you wish to go and laugh - and trust me, if you have children, YOU WILL LAUGH!!!
When we watched it, we did not have children. This video did not discourage us from pursuing to have a family. But, looking back, I can see how couples may not want to grow a family.
It is true: things do change when you have kids, even more when you have more than one. In fact, I can personally attest that having only one child is easy. Our daughter was calm and sweet and gave us no issues. When we started having more, she became the Queen of the castle and she was not willing to let her siblings take over. Fun story - yesterday, she gave her brother a swollen eye...later in the day, he tackled her from behind - I did not know whether to laugh or cry, I chose laughter!
But going back to my post, I think it is important to find joy in those moments. I am not talking about when they first say "Mama" or they crawl, walk or put their shoes on. I am talking about those moments when you are trying to leave the house, just to go on a walk and it takes, at least, twenty to thirty minutes, to attempt to get out of the house. Prepare yourself the night before if you need to leave early the next day for an appointment, because, trust me - you know something will go wrong!
In spite of all the changes, I would not change a thing. My kids bring me joy and they teach me valuable lessons. They also keep me organized and on top of things - because with kids, you need to show them that you are in control or they will take it from you. My kids make me laugh and bring me back to what it is like to see life through their eyes.
Is it difficult? Do we miss being able to just pick up and leave? Of course we do! We would be lying if we said no. Yet, we would not change anything about our current situation. Yes, there are challenges that come with having small children - we adopted three children within a twenty-six month span - yeah, we wanted to grow our family and were serious about it! But, it was and is difficult. Our toddler, who used to sleep so well, had to be transitioned to a toddler bed - yikes!!! She is starting to get used to it, but each night, it is a struggle. When she was done with teething, our son started his teething journey... and then, we had our little one and it was back to no longer sleeping - after four months, we are starting to catch up on lost sleep. Although, let's be serious - we never will catch up!
All in all, acceptance is key and you just need to let go of that life you had before children. If you cannot let it go, you will not find joy and you will become bitter and resentful. There is a lot to be said about discernment when it comes to having children. We have these rose-colored images of how it will be - I did! Then, reality hits you and you are dumbfounded!!! Wait! What!!! Woah!!! This is NOT what I was expecting...
Then, you start to listen to your children and you begin to really pay attention as to how they live in this world. You know the cruel reality of what is going on out there, but they don't! To them, it's still a great big world and they are wanting to explore it all. And you should be with them exploring it also! Yes, I am often on my hands and knees playing with them and just doing anything that I can to play with them. You should be doing the same.
Lastly, remember that they are small for such short moment - then, they become teenagers and they no longer need you (well, as my good friends reminded me, they always will) but they will become more independent and will prefer being on their own or with friends... You will miss those days when they were small and you could protect them from the world... Until then, laugh, play and laugh some more with them.
Are you struggling with having small children and feeling like you are unable to do anything? Don't worry! You are not alone - we are all in this together! It will get better! If you are feeling overwhelmed, get some support and help - don't do this on your own. If you can't find help, know that there are local organizations that can come in handy. For example, in our city, we have this organization that hires people to come in and stay overnight and take care of the kids. And ask around friends and family - you would be surprised at how many people will help out.
Until my next post, keep safe and healthy!
SM
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