Changes - I am Not a Fan and neither is my toddler!

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Hello everyone,

I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy! Remember to wash your hands, not touch your face and wear your face mask (don't forget to keep your nose in the mask).

I don't like change - I actually hate it. I am very much someone who likes her routine and the moment something comes to disrupt it, I feel like I am losing control - like I ever had any! And I know that change is good. Change is very good. Change makes you grow. Change makes you better. But change also makes you feel unstable and I love stability.

Whenever my routine changes, or is about to change, I get antsy. I am not spontaneous...at all! To me, change is like getting into a hot bath and I have to go in one shot. I, on the other hand, will want to go in one toe at a time and ease myself into a hot bath. Same thing with change - I have to be prepared and then, I have to ease into it little by little. Once I have fully embraced the change, I can then put it into my routine and I am back to my routine - version 2.0.

You know who else doesn't like change? CHILDREN!!! Yes! To children, change is like those mushy carrots that you tell them is good for them and yet, they are looking at you thinking: she is insane if she thinks we are going to eat that! 

I bring this up because our toddler has lost her crib and it has become a toddler bed - and she is not adjusting well. She thought it was nice, at first. Then, she realized she could no longer climb out of it. And later - yes, ladies and gentlemen, I heard the BOOM! Yup, you know it - she fell off because she realized that she could no longer climb safely. No worries - she was not hurt, just startled that she had fallen.

Well, that led us to about an hour of her hanging out with us. Then, it was getting dark and we needed her to go to bed. She wanted nothing to do with that idea - the fall was probably fresh in her mind. It took her crying it out, my husband laying on the floor for a while and then...she reached for the bed. She fell asleep and slept all night.

I can be hopeful and say that I am sure she will go into bed so much better tonight, but I am no fool. I am already thinking of what I want to try tonight to make it go smoother. What am I thinking? books??? and trying to put her down a little later so she can be a little more tired.

Seeing her behavior, it made me realize how much she hates change too. She had her routine: get into her crib, climb out a couple of times (she giggles when we enter the room) and then, she bangs her feet against the crib, sings and laughs --- and then, falls asleep. But yesterday, she realized that her bed was now different and she could no longer climb out of it like she used to. We had messed up her perfect routine - but we prefer to keep her alive instead of with missing limbs - when kids climb out of cribs, it is terrifying!!! Still, to her eyes, we changed her routine. We took away her crib and made her grow-up - how dare we??!!

Last night, it dawned on me - how can I expect her to accept change easily when I am unable to? How can I expect her to be on board when I can't even do that? You see, that is the beauty of children. They teach you that they are human just like you- they are just tinier ones. They remind you that what you believe is good for them, is not what they want for themselves. They are unable to see that you are doing what is best for them - they may never until they are adults - still, you cannot let them win. We know that she can no longer be in her crib because she will injure herself as she climbs out - especially when it is dark in her room - oh yeah, I had to remove her lamp (I pictured her with it on top of her with a note saying: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING LEAVING THIS HERE???)

What does this all mean? This means that I will be more empathetic to her behavior. I will accept it, even though I will not like it, and I will try to help her ease into her new environment - her toddler bed. I will read to her and wait to put her down when I can see that she is ready. It may not work when I want it, but eventually, she will fall asleep. And I am embracing that every night may be different - with some being easier or harder than others. But, unlike last night, I will not tell myself that I am failing. I will tell myself that she is simply adjusting and that she is acting like a normal toddler.

Are you a fan of change? If so, how do you handle change? If not, how do you handle change? 

Hang in there - wash your hands and don't touch your face!

SM

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