My motherhood journey - not what I expected!

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy.  This morning, I worked out. I have been fortunate to have our personal trainer provide us with online training sessions. It has been a great way to keep fit during this pandemic. It also has been a great blessing to keep me strong and fit. I remember, when I was not a mom, that I would always tell other moms to take care of themselves. Most often, they would reply that it was hard to find time for themselves. I could imagine that being true, but never fully understood it until I became a mom. With one kid, it's easy to still find time for yourself. When you start to bring in more - it gets a little more tricky. Kids work on a schedule but they don't work on each other's schedule... so, when you may try to have them both nap at the same time, but that never goes well. You try to get anytime to yourself - I know of moms who would take up to three showers so they could have time alone...yik...

Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you safe and healthy. Remember to wash your hands, not touch your face, wear your mask and keep your distance. Let's stop the spread of Covid-19 but let's never stop spreading kindness! This morning, we had a photo session with our three kids - two, one and three months. It was done outside in our backyard and the weather was perfect. The kids looked cute, we looked less tired and my hair even decided not to frizz today - a win all around! I was feeling confident that things would be good. We start taking pictures and then...it happened. Our daughter was more interested with the sticks, rocks and any other thing she could find in the backyard. Our middle son decided that he was not going to smile and wanted nothing to do with taking picture. He wanted to just play with a stick...    What was I doing? Knowing me, you would think that I was freaking out and getting frustrated over this whole situation. You would think that I was just being ...

Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you safe and healthy. Remember to wash your hands, not touch your face and wear your face masks. Let's stop the spread of Covid but let's never stop the spread of kindness. Poop explosions...you hear about them and you think: well, that could never happen to me? Who let's their children have one? Right? And then...it happens! Little disclaimer - the word "poop" will be mentioned several times - so beware!" The first time was with our daughter. It was Easter Sunday, she had on a beautiful outfit and we had just gotten back from Mass. We are about to give her a bottle and then, we saw it - it went all the way up to her neck. I thought: How in the world did I let this happen?? I did not even smell her poop... We changed her, bathed her and she fell asleep. The second time happened with our daughter again - it was during a road trip. She was doing quite well on the ride and was cheerful all the way. Before we arrived at our ...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. Fortunately, my husband's results came back negative - I am grateful for that as I know that many did not have the same results. Remember to wash your hands, not touch your face, wear a face mask and only go somewhere if you really have to. In our state, cases are rising, so please keep safe and healthy. Yesterday was a very BMD - Bad Mom Day!!! The moment I hit my pillow, no matter how exhausted I was...the images of that day and then other days started to roll past my eyes. My mind was being filled with shouts, things being said and then food being thrown around by my very angry toddler...there are still some spots on my kitchen floor with smeared and caked egg yolk - yes, it was quite the evening. As if the egg throwing was not enough, she then proceeded to screaming her head off about an hour after I put her down for the night. I went up and brought a glass of water - she drank but wanted to ...

Hello everybody, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. Remember to wash your hands, not touch your face, only go places that are necessary and wear a face mask. Warm weather or not, Covid-19 is still out there and we need to do whatever we can to stop it from spreading. Yes, with a husband that works in healthcare, you bet we have had Covid scares. In fact, at this very moment, my husband is quarantining in the basement as he awaits for his tests results. It is his second time waiting for test results. I have slowly had to accept that it won't be the last. The first time was probably the scariest because he was actually feeling quite ill - it turned out it was food poisoning. This time, he had a sore throat but as the day progressed and after getting tested, he was back to normal. Yet, you can't take a chance because he has surgeries coming up and you just need to be responsible. I even called the dentist - as I only learned of this after I came...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. We are, again, going through another Covid scare as my husband is awaiting results. We are taking precautions and the risk is very low, but having him quarantined in the basement is just not my idea of fun... So, if you or a loved one are or have been infected, I keep you in prayer. Remember to keep safe by washing your hands, not touching your face, wearing a face mask and only going out of the house if you have to. You read my title correctly - I left the house with soup on my face. Not only did that happen, but I only noticed it as I was looking at myself in the rearview mirror. I was too far from home to go back and had to just roll with it. As I watched the soup smeared and caked on my cheek together with some of it caked in my hair, I thought: "Well, at least it means that my kids are eating without the help of a feeding tube..."  Right now, I wonder how many Moms are you there with food on t...

Hello everyone, I pray and hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. I know that warmer weather is here and that restrictions have eased up - yet, we still need to keep safe by washing our hands and not touching our faces. Covid-19 is still rampant and if you or someone you know is currently or has been afflicted by it, I hope you are or have recovered. To all those who have lost someone during this pandemic, I am so sorry. I don't sleep well because I am a Mom. As exhausted as I am, the minute my head hits the pillow, it starts. I begin to play out the day in my head and then, I am off to the land of "I am such a failure with my kids - I am the worst Mom!" And I am pretty sure that I am not the only that goes through this - not that it makes me feel better. I feel like a failure when I am not patient, when I yelled at them, when I let them cry a bit because I wanted to sleep in, when I was a bit harsh with time out because I had enough... and w...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. Please be careful when being out there, as cases are rising. Remember to wash your hands, do not touch your face and only leave your house, if you need to. Help others around you and spread kindness not Covid-19. After some outside insight and much reflection...the thing I struggle with the most is having to sacrifice so much so my kids and family come first. I wish that I could say that I do it with a smile and so much grace...but the reality is that I do it because I know it's the right thing - yet, it makes me angry and I feel like I am just losing myself. I could be selfish but prefer not to - because somehow, my strong maternal instinct kicks in and I can hear it loud and clear!! I could take comfort in knowing that so many other mothers feel the same way I do - but that would be lying... It sort of...sucks that, often, we have to sacrifice so much for others. It makes me think of that episode in th...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. Remember to wash your hands, don't touch your face and wear a face mask when you leave the house. We must stop the spread of Covid-19 but we must continue to spread kindness. This week, my toddler has been particularly challenging. She goes through various phases: hitting, spitting, throwing, screaming...you know, typical toddler behavior. Yet, each time it happens with our nanny, I feel it reflects poorly on me - why can't I stop it? Why am I unable to just make her stop that type of behavior? The answer is simple: I can't! But my brain is unable to just accept that simple answer. The perfectionist in me wants her to be polite and always behave nicely. But then again, I am not one to always be polite and behave nicely...so why am I expecting it from her? Totally irrational of me to do that. Inadequate is how I started to feel once our toddler got to be a little older. I first felt it when people...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy.  A few weeks ago, I heard about this YouTuber - Myka Stauffer, who shared a video about having re-homed their adoptive son. They had adopted him from China and he had autism. He had stayed with them for two years and then, they got pregnant with their fourth child (this little boy from China was their only adopted child).  Now, they did mention in several videos that they were struggling with him because of the language barrier together with him being autistic. And although I don't have a child with special needs, I can imagine how much more of a challenge they can be. What I am struggling with is that they re-homed him because, it seems, their doctor told them that their family was not equipped to handle those types of challenges... and that is what bothered me and then angered me. We adopted three young children, all newborn, within twenty-six months. As of now, we a have two and half year...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. I also hope that if you are a Mom and that you are struggling - find support and if you can't - know that this too shall pass. This week has been particularly challenging. Our toddler is setting her boundaries and, although usually calm, I did scream: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" This led to her crying and just wanting me to comfort her.... I felt such shame for having yelled at her and then, she reaches out her arms to me for comfort... that love she has for me just melted me and it led to think... Why am I expecting perfection from them like I do with myself? We do that. We are experts at that. We put on so much pressure on ourselves and then, we expect from tiny little people - our children. If we, as adults, cannot attain perfection, how can we expect our children to attain an unrealistic goal?? Why do we do that? Pressure cooker - yes, Moms are pressure cookers. We keep all the pressure...

Hello everyone, I hope that this post finds you all safe and healthy. Remember to keep safe when you leave the house by washing your hands and not touching your face. Respect social distancing and stop the spread of Covid-19. One more thing - spreading kindness and respect to others is always encouraged. Be kind, be merciful and help others. In the midst of this pandemic, I have thought about what I really miss. It turns out that I missed having warm coffee while reading a book - without interruptions. I know that I can have this at home, it just takes a little more planning. While before, I could just pick up and go. And so, coffee and a good book are my topic of today. How can these two things be such a great combination? They are because one just complements the other so well. The coffee helps me to keep awake and tastes so good - even if my husband makes a good Latte, I sure miss the Lattes at Starbucks... and the book just transports me to whatever I am reading about. Whet...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are happy and healthy. Remember that you need to stop the spread of Covid-19 by playing your part. Wash your hands, don't touch your face and only leave the house when you have to. There are days, sometimes many...where you just need some inspiration. Whether it is through a book, a quote, a song, a poem, a person or anything else. For some reason, quotes affect me because they are short and they, at times, just hit the nail and BOOM...INSPIRED. I am currently working on a big project. I am not ready to share it but know that it has to do with writing and creativity. I am learning a lot about my new project because when I start it, I want to be ready to go and able to maintain it. What inspired me?? The book from Rachel Hollis - Girl Stop Apologizing (this is NOT sponsored) and as I was reading it - BOOM...INSPIRED!!! Why did it inspire me so much??? For one, this author is genuine and she says it like it is. For an...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. I know that the weather is nice and warm. I know it feels like things are going back to normal...yet, Covid-19 is still out there and people are still getting infected. Please keep safe, wash your hands, limit your movements and stop the spread of Covid-19. This is a hard topic to tackle... it brings up so many emotions in me and in every infertile women. You see, I am infertile and I still get a period. Biologically speaking, it is very normal that I get a period, because that is what my body is supposed to do. On the other side, my body should also be able to conceive and it does not...SO WHY DO I NEED A PERIOD?? When we were actively trying to achieve a pregnancy, it made so much sense to have my period. After my surgery and when we knew that it was no longer possible, I started to view my periods like a nuisance - adding insult to injury. Each month, it was a reminder that my body had faile...

Hello everyone, Today is Tuesday and it started bad and I think it set the mood for the rest of my day. I know that my hormones are out of whack because my mood swings and other physical disturbances are too obvious to be ignored. And last but not least - our little one, after having gulped his bottle (because he was screaming as though he was hungry) spit it all up and it went everywhere: myself, my nightgown, the chaise, his clothes and two burp cloths... From that moment, I just knew that my day would be a little more chaotic. So, yeah, today - NOT A GOOD DAY! Regardless, I hope and pray that when you read this post you are healthy and keeping safe. I know that the restrictions have been eased but we still need to be careful and stop the spread of this vicious virus. Just because restrictions have been lifted, it does not mean that the virus is gone, it only means that there is place for you in the ICU. Most if not all Moms have bad days - last summer, for example, with our ...