Motherhood - The Equivalent of Being in a Pressure Cooker
Hello everyone,
I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. I also hope that if you are a Mom and that you are struggling - find support and if you can't - know that this too shall pass.
This week has been particularly challenging. Our toddler is setting her boundaries and, although usually calm, I did scream: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" This led to her crying and just wanting me to comfort her.... I felt such shame for having yelled at her and then, she reaches out her arms to me for comfort... that love she has for me just melted me and it led to think... Why am I expecting perfection from them like I do with myself?
We do that. We are experts at that. We put on so much pressure on ourselves and then, we expect from tiny little people - our children. If we, as adults, cannot attain perfection, how can we expect our children to attain an unrealistic goal?? Why do we do that?
Pressure cooker - yes, Moms are pressure cookers. We keep all the pressure bottled up and we try to do everything because we think that is what we need to do. And the reality is that we don't!! But we do - well, I do because I think that it what is expected of me. When family visits, I think they will expect things to be perfect - their rooms, a welcome bag, a nice meal and a clean house. I truly believe that if they don't get that, they will judge me. And let me tell you - I make sure everything is perfect to the point where I make it miserable for those around me...
I already was putting on so much pressure on me before even becoming a Mom. Now that I am, it's ten thousand times worse...
What is the solution? our children! Yes, our children are the ones that teach us the most important lessons. However, we must be ready to listen and pay attention to the lesson. We must also be ready and willing to accept the lesson. Instead, we are arrogant and cannot accept that such tiny little humans could teach us anything. Yet, they do.
My children teach me to live in the moment. The past and the future mean nothing to them because they are too young to even begin to comprehend such concepts. My children teach me about enjoying life and not drowning in it. My children teach me to stop, be still, be silly and just laugh. They teach me that perfection is the killer of joy and spontaneity. My children teach me how to live a happy life.
My problem - I don't want to see what they are teaching me because I have to do the laundry, clean the house, blog, pay the bills, make sure that I am dressed with makeup on, order the groceries, meal plan for the week, come up with ideas for the kids and outings, calling to cancel or start up things for the house... instead of stopping, I just keep going and going and going - until it is night time and I am left completely exhausted.
Each day is a beginning. Each day, I tell myself that I will pay attention to the lesson - each day, I fail... But, I am not a quitter. I will keep at it until I am able to not only pay attention but also accept the lesson.
If you are struggling, you are not alone. We are all in the same boat. Some are in worse situations that others - single moms - YOU ARE ROCK STARS!! The important thing to remember is that we have been entrusted with these children and it is our responsibility to raise them to be good civilians. It is up to us to make them become the future - a bright and good future!
What are your struggles? Are you getting help? Reach out if you need to. This is no time to be proud.
Until my next post, please remember to keep safe and healthy.
SM
I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. I also hope that if you are a Mom and that you are struggling - find support and if you can't - know that this too shall pass.
This week has been particularly challenging. Our toddler is setting her boundaries and, although usually calm, I did scream: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" This led to her crying and just wanting me to comfort her.... I felt such shame for having yelled at her and then, she reaches out her arms to me for comfort... that love she has for me just melted me and it led to think... Why am I expecting perfection from them like I do with myself?
We do that. We are experts at that. We put on so much pressure on ourselves and then, we expect from tiny little people - our children. If we, as adults, cannot attain perfection, how can we expect our children to attain an unrealistic goal?? Why do we do that?
Pressure cooker - yes, Moms are pressure cookers. We keep all the pressure bottled up and we try to do everything because we think that is what we need to do. And the reality is that we don't!! But we do - well, I do because I think that it what is expected of me. When family visits, I think they will expect things to be perfect - their rooms, a welcome bag, a nice meal and a clean house. I truly believe that if they don't get that, they will judge me. And let me tell you - I make sure everything is perfect to the point where I make it miserable for those around me...
I already was putting on so much pressure on me before even becoming a Mom. Now that I am, it's ten thousand times worse...
What is the solution? our children! Yes, our children are the ones that teach us the most important lessons. However, we must be ready to listen and pay attention to the lesson. We must also be ready and willing to accept the lesson. Instead, we are arrogant and cannot accept that such tiny little humans could teach us anything. Yet, they do.
My children teach me to live in the moment. The past and the future mean nothing to them because they are too young to even begin to comprehend such concepts. My children teach me about enjoying life and not drowning in it. My children teach me to stop, be still, be silly and just laugh. They teach me that perfection is the killer of joy and spontaneity. My children teach me how to live a happy life.
My problem - I don't want to see what they are teaching me because I have to do the laundry, clean the house, blog, pay the bills, make sure that I am dressed with makeup on, order the groceries, meal plan for the week, come up with ideas for the kids and outings, calling to cancel or start up things for the house... instead of stopping, I just keep going and going and going - until it is night time and I am left completely exhausted.
Each day is a beginning. Each day, I tell myself that I will pay attention to the lesson - each day, I fail... But, I am not a quitter. I will keep at it until I am able to not only pay attention but also accept the lesson.
If you are struggling, you are not alone. We are all in the same boat. Some are in worse situations that others - single moms - YOU ARE ROCK STARS!! The important thing to remember is that we have been entrusted with these children and it is our responsibility to raise them to be good civilians. It is up to us to make them become the future - a bright and good future!
What are your struggles? Are you getting help? Reach out if you need to. This is no time to be proud.
Until my next post, please remember to keep safe and healthy.
SM
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