Having a period and being infertile - why?
Hello everyone,
I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. I know that the weather is nice and warm. I know it feels like things are going back to normal...yet, Covid-19 is still out there and people are still getting infected. Please keep safe, wash your hands, limit your movements and stop the spread of Covid-19.
This is a hard topic to tackle... it brings up so many emotions in me and in every infertile women. You see, I am infertile and I still get a period. Biologically speaking, it is very normal that I get a period, because that is what my body is supposed to do. On the other side, my body should also be able to conceive and it does not...SO WHY DO I NEED A PERIOD??
When we were actively trying to achieve a pregnancy, it made so much sense to have my period. After my surgery and when we knew that it was no longer possible, I started to view my periods like a nuisance - adding insult to injury. Each month, it was a reminder that my body had failed again...
For months at a time, I don't really mind having a period. Yes, it is annoying to experience all the PMS symptoms. Yes, I am not a big fan of pads - I never got used to wearing tampons. I don't enjoy the mood swings, that, at times, take even me by surprise. But, it's a rite of passage each month and it proves that my body is working well.
Then, there are the months where my period acts up and it just gets very bad. They have been so irregular over the past six months - and Covid-19 is NOT helping. There have been times when I had a period twice in the same month. It feels like I am unable to get any breathing time in between them and they are often accompanied with horrible PMS symptoms and the cramps have become so incredibly painful that it sometimes leaves be unable to do anything.
So, why am I still getting a period? It can't be because I can have children, because the reality is that I can't. Is it God trying to laugh at me? Nope, that is not it either. Then, why?
And the reason is simple: biology. I have periods because I am a woman and I have ovaries that are still working. They may not be working properly, but I still have them and until they call it quits, I will have a period.
The ironic part is that when we were trying to achieve, I was sad each time that my period came. Now that we are not, I am still sad that it comes because I find it useless. But, there are benefits to having your period. When you have a period, it means that your body is working properly. Your hormones are doing their job. So, yes, there is a very good reason as to why we need to have a period.
However, lately, it has been weighing on me. Each period is a burden and feels like a punishment. It's as if my body is trying so hard to work well, but fails because a period also means no pregnancy...and no, I don't want to get pregnant...I know I can't. But, it's a constant reminder...
How can I deal with it? I am honestly not sure how. I spoke to my doctor and we discussed a few options - I took one that I felt was the least invasive. The term "mood medicine" - although very diplomatic, was a path I was not ready to embrace again...I lived my own personal hell with it a few years back...
I fully believe that it will get better, but I will also have to put in my own effort. I will continue to work out three times a week - even though I don't like it. I will force myself to go outside and walk in the sun. I will read more about how to improve my stress... I will pray and journal... I will let myself feel the bad days and not push them away... I will keep trucking because that is who I am.
Are you in this situation? if so, how are you handling it? or are you not handling it? Please share and let's build our community.
Remember to keep safe, wash your hands, don't touch your face, limit your outings and stop the spread of Covid-19.
SM
I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. I know that the weather is nice and warm. I know it feels like things are going back to normal...yet, Covid-19 is still out there and people are still getting infected. Please keep safe, wash your hands, limit your movements and stop the spread of Covid-19.
This is a hard topic to tackle... it brings up so many emotions in me and in every infertile women. You see, I am infertile and I still get a period. Biologically speaking, it is very normal that I get a period, because that is what my body is supposed to do. On the other side, my body should also be able to conceive and it does not...SO WHY DO I NEED A PERIOD??
When we were actively trying to achieve a pregnancy, it made so much sense to have my period. After my surgery and when we knew that it was no longer possible, I started to view my periods like a nuisance - adding insult to injury. Each month, it was a reminder that my body had failed again...
For months at a time, I don't really mind having a period. Yes, it is annoying to experience all the PMS symptoms. Yes, I am not a big fan of pads - I never got used to wearing tampons. I don't enjoy the mood swings, that, at times, take even me by surprise. But, it's a rite of passage each month and it proves that my body is working well.
Then, there are the months where my period acts up and it just gets very bad. They have been so irregular over the past six months - and Covid-19 is NOT helping. There have been times when I had a period twice in the same month. It feels like I am unable to get any breathing time in between them and they are often accompanied with horrible PMS symptoms and the cramps have become so incredibly painful that it sometimes leaves be unable to do anything.
So, why am I still getting a period? It can't be because I can have children, because the reality is that I can't. Is it God trying to laugh at me? Nope, that is not it either. Then, why?
And the reason is simple: biology. I have periods because I am a woman and I have ovaries that are still working. They may not be working properly, but I still have them and until they call it quits, I will have a period.
The ironic part is that when we were trying to achieve, I was sad each time that my period came. Now that we are not, I am still sad that it comes because I find it useless. But, there are benefits to having your period. When you have a period, it means that your body is working properly. Your hormones are doing their job. So, yes, there is a very good reason as to why we need to have a period.
However, lately, it has been weighing on me. Each period is a burden and feels like a punishment. It's as if my body is trying so hard to work well, but fails because a period also means no pregnancy...and no, I don't want to get pregnant...I know I can't. But, it's a constant reminder...
How can I deal with it? I am honestly not sure how. I spoke to my doctor and we discussed a few options - I took one that I felt was the least invasive. The term "mood medicine" - although very diplomatic, was a path I was not ready to embrace again...I lived my own personal hell with it a few years back...
I fully believe that it will get better, but I will also have to put in my own effort. I will continue to work out three times a week - even though I don't like it. I will force myself to go outside and walk in the sun. I will read more about how to improve my stress... I will pray and journal... I will let myself feel the bad days and not push them away... I will keep trucking because that is who I am.
Are you in this situation? if so, how are you handling it? or are you not handling it? Please share and let's build our community.
Remember to keep safe, wash your hands, don't touch your face, limit your outings and stop the spread of Covid-19.
SM
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