My motherhood journey - not what I expected!

Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you all safe and healthy. We have a family member that may have Covid - remember to wear your masks, wash your hands and social distance. One thing that may cause some major anxiety in those who wish to adopt is the Home Study. Yes, it can be a very daunting step to go through. But if you go through each step and keep the end goal in mind - becoming a parent - you will be just fine! As a disclaimer, our home study was done in the USA, it may be different elsewhere. The process begins with you being assigned with a social worker. He or she will guide you on the process and is an excellent resource to have. Your social worker will help alleviate any stress you have about the whole process. We loved ours - she has been extremely helpful with all three of our adoptions. Once you are assigned a social worker, you will have access to a web portal. This portal is where you will download all the documents and fill out any forms required. It is done in ste...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. The flu season has arrived! Be safe by wearing your mask and keeping your distance. "Your greatest ministry will most likely come out of your greatest hurt." - Pastor Rick Warren "Your infertility will be a true gift to your patients." - former boss While going through the dark phases of our infertility, I never thought that it would serve a purpose. How could something that was so painful bring joy and hope? It wasn't until I started to teach Creighton (a mucus based fertility system) that I understood how my infertility was a gift.  Loneliness is part of any pain - even more when it comes to infertility. It's not something people shout to the public. It is this quiet and broken pain that we carry close to our chest. The moment it comes out of your mouth, you feel shame and guilt. It never then dawned on me that all that suffering would come to an end and would serve as a vehicle...

Hello everyone, Hope this post finds you all safe and healthy! Remember to wear your mask, wash your hands and social distance! No, it's not easy and I cannot wait for it to be over - this too shall pass. Before we knew we had infertility, pregnancy announcements were such joyous events! Then, we found out we had infertility and even after some treatments, we were just not getting pregnant - but others were! Those started being uncomfortable. And then, they became so painful and heartbreaking. It wasn't that I was not happy for whoever was expecting - not at all! I don't wish infertility on anyone - it is way too painful and hard to go through. But, it served as a reminder that it was not me making the announcement. Each year, I had all these great ideas about how I would announce it to my husband and then my family - I even had some ideas of pictures for social media...but I never got to use any of them. After we adopted, pregnancy announcements became different. They stil...

Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you all safe, healthy and sane - yes, this pandemic and everything else going on...it is over?? Hang in there because this too shall pass! My husband and I were recently talking about how some people are not willing to adopt - if they have infertility. We debated on why we thought they would not be open to it. Although we had some common thoughts, we also have some that differed. So, I wanted to write about five reasons why I think people are not willing to adopt. Before I begin, I just want to say, as a disclaimer, that these are the reasons I think people would not adopt, based on my own experience. There are many other reasons and I am purely sharing my thoughts. 1) The Financial Cost The average adoption can range between $35,000 to $50,000. That is a lot of money. It has to be carefully budgeted for. In our case, we had to plan ahead because once the consent was signed by the birthmom, the invoice was in our inbox.  For some, this can tak...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy! Bad days are inevitable. They happen to all of us, even our children! However, when it happens to us, adults, we just go ahead with our day and know that it will end. For children, it's a bit more complex...even more when you have a toddler, and two infants. At that age, they have all these emotions and they are unable to process all that anger, frustration, annoyance... It is a mess!! Last week, our beautiful daughter had a "TODDLER TANTRUM" marathon! It lasted the whole week! I was impressed by how our nanny handled it - I was just amazed at how patient I was the entire time. It was a mix of painful and heartbreaking. I questioned whether she was sick or not - I even took her out for a walk so that I could calm her down. She did have the sniffles, but nothing that could cause such behavior. It was a week where I prayed each day more fervently and felt like the worst mom ever. For some...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy! I wanted to you guys an update on how I am feeling about potentially adopting again... My husband has been on the same track, from the beginning: he would be happy with a fourth, but would also be happy with the three children we have. Me? I am still on the maybe track but, currently, I am leaning more on the "no" side. Why? That is a good question. I am trying to keep an open mind as always because when we say no, then, it will be difficult to go back on our decision - it all has to do with time. If we are to go forth with another adoption, we need to get all the legal paperwork taken care of, start a new home study, medical exams, fingerprints, uploading several documents and we need to create a new and updated adoption profile so the next birthmom can see a true picture of our family. All this work takes, on average, about two months...so time is of the essence! Another thing that is telling is ...

Hello everyone, I hope that this post finds you safe and healthy! Remember to do your part to protect you and others from Covid-19. Postpartum depression has become less of a taboo. Women are finally speaking up about that difficult transition that takes place after they give birth to their children. It can last from weeks to months and can lead to anxiety and bouts of depression. Couple this with all the hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy, childbirth and after birth and you have a huge mess... But do women who adopt have something similar happen to them? That is today's topic! I never thought that I would experience anything close to postpartum depression.  Obviously, it is not called postpartum depression but "post-baby blues" or "post-adoption baby blues". I first learned about it as I was going through all the reading our social worker gave us. Then, I had it - three times, after each adoption. On average, it begins once the baby is home and the ex...

Hello everyone, I hope you all had a great and safe weekend!  Every baby has a birth story. Every woman loves sharing her birth story. But when you adopt, those birth stories are not to be shared with the world...at least, not until your children are old enough. Why? because when it comes to adoption, birth stories are personal and confidential. They should only be told by the children's themselves. When do you start to tell them? How do you tell them? What can you share with family, friends or strangers?? This is the topic of the day! When you adopt, everyone wants to know everything! If you are the first in your family to adopt - TRUST ME - there will be a ton of questions! You will learn fairly quickly what you can share and what you cannot. It is too easy to give others all the details, but you need to remember that the birth stories of your children are their stories to tell - not yours. It can be hard to juggle all that information because family and friends - and yes, strang...

Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you all safe and healthy. For some, the restrictions are easing off and for others, they are back to a partial shutdown. Regardless of where you are, remember to do your part to stop the spread of Covid-19.  When we started telling people we were having issues conceiving, I heard the same three things: 1) Stop worrying, it will happen! 2) You are stressing too much - have some wine and relax! 3) I know someone who conceived when they were about your age - no problem! When I miscarried, I heard these three things: 1) Hey, at least now you know you can conceive! 2) Oh, don't be sad, you can try again next month! 3) Everybody miscarries the first time - you will get pregnant soon! Did any of these statements help or give me hope? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Most often, they were made by women who had no fertility issues - therefore, they knew nothing about my situation! And when you don't know about one's journey, it is best to just say nothing! When...