Do we want to adopt again? - Update

Hello everyone,

I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy!

I wanted to you guys an update on how I am feeling about potentially adopting again... My husband has been on the same track, from the beginning: he would be happy with a fourth, but would also be happy with the three children we have. Me? I am still on the maybe track but, currently, I am leaning more on the "no" side.

Why? That is a good question. I am trying to keep an open mind as always because when we say no, then, it will be difficult to go back on our decision - it all has to do with time. If we are to go forth with another adoption, we need to get all the legal paperwork taken care of, start a new home study, medical exams, fingerprints, uploading several documents and we need to create a new and updated adoption profile so the next birthmom can see a true picture of our family. All this work takes, on average, about two months...so time is of the essence!

Another thing that is telling is that with the previous adoptions, even before we could start the process, we were already filing and preparing all that was necessary...now, we have done nothing and I am not willing to start it...yeah!

Currently, our kids are at different but competing stages. They all still need much attention and care, but at different levels. Our daughter is in that toddler stage of trying to figure things out and having tantrums over almost everything. She is testing boundaries and trying to find ways of expressing herself but is unable to because...she is a toddler. Our oldest son is between an infant and a toddler - he basically follows what our daughter does and imitates her in every way, even goes as far as having a tantrum if she is having one...yikes! As for our youngest son, he is barely six months and is still in that constant need of attention and care and when his siblings are screaming...he starts to cry - poor thing!

All that to say - we are quite busy and have a lot on our plate... Is that enough for me to say a definite NO?? Not really! But when I think of those hard weeks - like last week (I will speak more about it on Thursday), it does make me want to question why I would want to add more stress and work to my already very full schedule... And, yes, we do have a nanny - but she does go home people - she is not a live in nanny- yeah, most people think that we don't take care of our children...that is for another post!

On one side, I have always four children. My husband has also wanted to have four kids. All the kids are sleeping through the night and we have a set routine with all three. It would be the perfect time, if any, to welcome another child. We now have a full-time nanny and we have the help I need to navigate through the tumultuous nights of no sleep with a newborn... On the other side, all of the kids are sleeping in their own room. Yesterday, we put our youngest son in his own room and that means that we FINALLY have our room back!! It was so nice to have our privacy back. Although they still need much attention, the two oldest ones are a bit more independent. They go to bed fairly early and that has allowed us to have some quiet and romance... 

It is quite difficult this time... I don't want to say no, but I am not ready to say yes either... and I have yet to make that pro and con list - but have prayed much about it. My husband said that he was waiting to see what God has to say. I keep asking God for signs and am not sure what they are - maybe I am not listening or paying attention to them.

For now, we are not doing anything. We have not started any of the paperwork, the pictures, the medical exams...nothing. We have spoken about it, but not in depth. We check-in with one another, but nothing definite. What helps is that my husband is not pressuring me. That does take a huge load off my shoulders.

I will keep you updated in a couple of months - it may not be a definite answer, but it may.

How are you handling an upcoming adoption? Are you scared, excited or both? Are you considering another adoption but are not sure? Share your stories and let's build our community.

Until my next post, keep safe and healthy!

SM