Our home study - the whole process!

Hello everyone,

I hope this post finds you all safe and healthy. We have a family member that may have Covid - remember to wear your masks, wash your hands and social distance.

One thing that may cause some major anxiety in those who wish to adopt is the Home Study. Yes, it can be a very daunting step to go through. But if you go through each step and keep the end goal in mind - becoming a parent - you will be just fine! As a disclaimer, our home study was done in the USA, it may be different elsewhere.

The process begins with you being assigned with a social worker. He or she will guide you on the process and is an excellent resource to have. Your social worker will help alleviate any stress you have about the whole process. We loved ours - she has been extremely helpful with all three of our adoptions.

Once you are assigned a social worker, you will have access to a web portal. This portal is where you will download all the documents and fill out any forms required. It is done in steps - in order to access the next level, you need to complete the previous one. It can be compared to a video game.

Documents 

1)Marriage certificate (if married in a foreign country, you will need a certified translation)

2) Driver's license (if issued in a foreign country, you will need a certified translation)

3) Birth certificates (if you were born in a foreign country, you will need a certified translation 

4) Letters of employment, tax returns of the last two previous years, bank statements, mortgage papers, evidence of loans (personal, bank), financial records and anything else pertaining to your finances

5) Physical examination - a form will be provided for your doctor. If you are currently undergoing any sort of therapy, you will need to provide a letter from your counselor, as well.

6) Fingerprints 

7) Letters of reference from family and friends 

8) CPS (Child Protective Services) reports - these are only necessary when you are applying and already have children

9) Copy of any criminal record offenses - yes, that DUI when you were 21 will resurface

10) Any other document which may be required by your state

Personal Autobiographies

These are done via a web portal. They are in a form of questionnaire. When you first apply for an adoption, these are required. When you apply subsequently, these are no longer needed since they keep them. 

My advice is to do these in small increments - for example, we would spend only four hours per evening - and we had some sort of beverage or snack to make it less painful. There are many questions about who you are as a person, spouse and\or parent (if you have children). It goes as far back as your childhood - yes, that is the least fun part - and asks about how you plan to parent (school, discipline, punishment). It is a way for them to have something to present to the adoption agency handling your case. 

When filling these out, remember to be honest. Don't answer what you think they want to read - be yourself. You don't want to be someone on paper and then be completely different when you meet with your social worker.

Meeting with social worker

Once you are more than half way done with the web portal, you will schedule a meeting with your social worker. During the first adoption process, there are a couple of face-to-face meetings together with a home visit. When you apply again, you will only have a house visit.

During the face-to-face meetings, they basically want to go over what you have written in the portal. They may want to know more about a certain event or just want some clarifications. They may ask for other documents or let you know what is still missing. Don't be nervous - your social worker wants to help you become a parent.

The house visit is a way for them to see the layout of your home. They also want to make sure that you have all the necessary safety measures - gates, smoke detectors, fire extinguishers. It will feel intrusive, but again - remember that your social worker is there to help you become a parent.

Final Report

Once everything is done and completed, the social worker will write up a report that will be sent to your adoption agency. This is simply a condensed version of all that you wrote on the portal, including the letters of reference from your family and friends. It is a report confirming that you have the qualities required to be a parent

Adoption Classes

Yes, you will need to attend some classes. For us, we attended three of them. There are a variety of them on several subjects: transracial adoption, difficult conversations, how to parent, meeting with other birth parents... 

They usually last an entire day and you get to meet other couples that are going through the same thing than you. It is a great way to make new friends and get even more resources. We learned a lot!

Final Meeting and "Dear Judge" Letter

When you are at this stage, this not only means that you are done with your home study, but that you are parents!!! Once the adoption takes place, your social worker will come visit you - approximately one month after baby has arrived - and see how you are doing. Again, don't panic! This is not a test to see if you get to keep your baby - you are parents and this baby is staying with you!! 

It is a fun way to talk about their birth story, how the whole things took place and how you and the family has adjusted to the new baby. After this, a "Dear Judge" letter will be written by your social worker and delivered to the judge who will finalize the adoption. 

And - that's it! This is how it usually goes when you proceed with an adoption in the USA. If you are applying for an international adoption, there are other steps and documents that are required. Therefore, as the risk of repeating myself, remember that this post is about how a home study is done in the USA. And within the USA, all states have their own particularities - this is just how a general idea of how a home study is conducted.

I hope that this removes some stress and that you can relax a bit. If you adopt again, these go much smoothly because you have already gone through one. Remember to take it a step at a time and let your social worker help you with anything you may need.

Are you currently thinking of adopting? Are you in the middle of a home study? How are you doing? Do you feel overwhelmed or happy as a clam? Know you are not alone!

If you have any questions or need more information, please let me know!

Until my next post, please keep safe and healthy! Remember to wear your face mask, wash your hands and social distance!

SM