My Infertility is a Gift - How Come?

Hello everyone,

I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. The flu season has arrived! Be safe by wearing your mask and keeping your distance.

"Your greatest ministry will most likely come out of your greatest hurt." - Pastor Rick Warren

"Your infertility will be a true gift to your patients." - former boss

While going through the dark phases of our infertility, I never thought that it would serve a purpose. How could something that was so painful bring joy and hope? It wasn't until I started to teach Creighton (a mucus based fertility system) that I understood how my infertility was a gift. 

Loneliness is part of any pain - even more when it comes to infertility. It's not something people shout to the public. It is this quiet and broken pain that we carry close to our chest. The moment it comes out of your mouth, you feel shame and guilt. It never then dawned on me that all that suffering would come to an end and would serve as a vehicle to help others.

I did not someone to talk to about my infertility. I had my spouse and my sister and some other people - but none of them were going through what I was going through. I had lost our child and was never going to conceive - it was a huge shock and cross to carry. And so, I would journal and my pen and paper became my confidant. After that experience, I vowed that I would never let another woman go through it alone - obviously, I had to know who they were.

It never brings me joy to know that someone that I love and care for is experiencing infertility. When I do find out about someone, the first thing I do is let them know that they are not alone. I need them to know that even if it feels like they are alone - they are not! Often, I am there for a few emails, a few phone calls or it turns into a strong friendship - regardless, I just want to be there because I know and still remember what it was like to be alone in that pain.

Listening is a hard thing to do - how can that be? It is extremely hard to just listen to the other without interjecting your opinion or advice - which quite often is unwanted. But that is what I have had to learn when having to listen to others who have infertility. All I needed was to be listened to and told - it's okay to be angry, it's okay to be hurt, it's okay to be jealous...it's okay and you are not alone! Countless times, some patients would come see me just to cry and let it all out because they could not with their family members or spouse. I listened to them cry, get angry, be bitter and, some, praise God, would come back letting me know they conceived their miracle baby - that was the highlight for me!!

I no longer teach anymore, due to family obligations. Some of my former patients have conceived and it has brought me such joy. Others - I keep them in constant prayer. I, sometimes, get an email or message from some of them letting me know they miss me - that makes me feel so happy. At times, I felt I was of no help - but was told: you just listened, that's all I needed.

And so, my infertility - which I still have - has become this gift to others. How odd life can be. Suffering and pain can bring healing and joy - you just need to wait for the opportunity. I have learned so much from being infertile and hope to learn more. Listening, praying, being present and helping to carry the pain have been things I never thought I would ever do for others. It has helped me to be there for others instead of just looking at my own suffering.

Are you facing infertility? Are you alone in your pain? Know that you are not alone! I may not know you but I pray each day for every woman that is infertile. I believe in the power of prayer! 

Until my next post, please keep safe and healthy. Do your part in keeping you and your loved ones safe from Covid-19 and the flu.

SM