My motherhood journey - not what I expected!

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. When we got married, we moved to the US within eight months of our wedding. We not only moved to a different country, but also to a city where we knew no one. It was, to be honest, extremely exciting and I had all these visions of being the perfect little homemaker. Also, we hoped to start our family. A few weeks in, the reality of it all came crashing down on me. We had a nice little home and I was enjoying running the errands and keeping house. I even bought a book called: "Confessions of an Organized Housewife" and I did read it and did get a lot out of it! But, what I did not expect was that my husband would be working ALL the time, even on weekends. My only company was Youtube - because we could not yet afford Netflix - butter and bread and lots of ice cream (Walmart brand has the greatest flavors). I was lonely, crying all the time and wanted to go back home. As if that was not enough - getti...

 Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you well and healthy. We are, FINALLY, almost back to normal. My husband has gone back to work after a full week of recovery. I am starting to feel better and am finally done with my antiviral medication. If you didn't read my last post, my husband and I thought we had Covid-19. Turns out, he had some other virus that affected his breathing and I had shingles - it was quite challenging! Today, I wanted to write about something that most women with infertility struggle with. Here is the scenario: it's Christmas or any other family gathering and everyone is having a great time!  All of a sudden, while you are feeling good about being surrounded by everybody else's children... it happens - another pregnancy announcement and, once again, it's not you. Obviously, you are happy for your family member, but inside, you just want to run and scream. You hold your tears and let them out on the way home (I did that numerous times). This scena...

 Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you safe and healthy.  A few weeks back, I wrote about out thoughts on adopting again. I wanted to touch base on that and give you an honest update. No, we have not made a final decision on whether or not we are going ahead with another adoption. But, we have started to think about what our life would be if we were to adopt again. It is just talking with no decision and it feels nice to know that we are both on the same page. As for me, I had a change of heart and wanted to consider it because all three kids are sleeping through the night. Yes, sometimes, we have issues putting out toddler down, and there are a few nights where one of them cries - nightmare, lost pacifier or a dirty diaper. Regardless, all three are sleeping through the night and we can now sleep much better. However, I have started up my Masters again and have already lined up my classes for the next semester. I have also started working on launching a new blog - no wor...

Hello everyone, I hope and pray that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. Please, please, please - WEAR YOUR MASKS, wash your hands and don't touch your faces!!! Do your part in helping STOP the spread of Covid-19! I feel compelled to share what the past few days have been like in our family. I hope it sensitizes you to the current pandemic that is STILL ONGOING!! All of last week, both my husband and I have been complaining of being more tired than usual. We both shrugged it off as we do have three small children under the age of three. We also knew that we had worked a lot and were going to bed later than we should have been. However, all changed on Friday night... I heard my husband going to the bathroom.  When he came back, he collapsed on top of me in bed. At first, I thought he had tripped on something.  I tapped him on the shoulder to get up - he responded but was not moving. I asked if he was sick and he replied he was not. I tried to get him to m...

 Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. If you happen to be getting over Covid-19, I pray that you were on the lighter side of the symptoms. If you are hospital hero - we cannot and will never be able to thank you enough for all the hard work you are doing. I wanted to touch base on something that happened to me when I became a mom. Pictures and ideas of how it would be flooded my mind. Baking, crafting, shopping, having elaborate tea parties and all these fun-filled activities were things I thought would fill my days. I just could not wait to be a mom! When we had our daughter, we were very excited and a bit scared. All of a sudden, you have this tiny human looking back at you and they depend on you for absolutely everything. They can't feed, change or clothe themselves. Everything is on you and when they need it, you better provide it or else, the tears and screams will fill your house - or wherever you are! People often told me that it wou...

 Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you healthy and well. I have changed when I post - Tuesday and Thursday. I would rather put out better content on less days than post mediocre posts every day. Therapy is something that I recommend you do, at least, once in our life. Some may only need a few sessions and others, like me, need it to maintain balance and accountability. I had my first therapy session in my mid-twenties. It was a referral from a co-worker of mine. Not knowing what to expect, the only idea I had was of having to lie down on a couch, in a dark room and just talk. Why did I go to therapy? There were many reasons. I was in an abusive - verbal and mental - relationship. I was not happy with my body image and I felt lost. I wanted to be saved and thought a therapist could do that.  I never told my mom where I was going. Therapy is not well seen in my family. It is something that only "crazy" people do. And because I was afraid that she would tell everyone at our...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. Remember to do your part and stop the spread of Covid-19. I am a people-pleaser. I try to please everyone because I don't want them to be mad, upset or disappointed in me. Very often, this leads me into accepting to do things or get things that I don't want to do or want to have. For years, I would never say no to someone - I thought it would come out as rude. Now, I am okay with saying no to people - because they say no to me. Women are wired very strangely. Yes, we are! We are brain washed into thinking that we need to be everything to everyone. We are programmed to be compliant and always say yes. If you are a mom - it's even worse because then, you need to prepare yourself for only taking care of others and never yourself. I did that - still do. I am always putting others first and I spread myself so thin and have nothing left for me. But, I have started catching myself. It has helped...

Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you well, safe and healthy. Remember to do your part and help stop the spread of Covid-19. We were at Church - this was pre-Covid - and we were speaking with my husband's friend. He has six children and he knows about parenting! Our daughter was acting up and we said that we had to go as she was having a bad day. His friend laughed and said: "Hey, we have bad days. Kids are allowed to have them also." My jaw dropped - I was shocked because I had never thought of it that way. We, adults, have our moments. We have those mornings where nothing is going right and we get in the foulest moods... So, if we are allowed to have them, you would expect that we would be more understanding when our kids have theirs. Unfortunately, the first thing that comes to mind is this: Oh boy! This will be one of those days... At least, that is what I used to think. But after that comment, it really changed my perspective on how to deal with those days when ...

Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you all safe and healthy. Cases are rising and we all need to do our part in help stopping the spread of Covid-19. Evolving is something that SAHM's (stay-at-home-mom's) do on a daily basis. We are no longer the typical SAHM who cleans the house, cooks, run errands, has kids all dressed and clean and makes sure she, herself, is all dolled up with a beer in her hand so her husband can drink it when he comes home from work. Her knowledge consists of how to run a house and she is never to have an opinion on matters of the world - because she is just the mom.... Yeah, we have evolved into women who do a lot more than just run a household. Some of us work from home, have outside part-time jobs or need to work full-time while still taking care of the home. We have opinions and we continually acquire more knowledge on all sorts of matters.  This pandemic, although frightening, has enabled many to start-up new businesses from home. Many YouTube ch...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. Remember to wash your hands, not touch your face, social distance at any cost and wear your face mask. This is not about restricting your rights but about saving lives - the lives of your loved ones. Moms have already so much pressure on them. We are pushed into all directions and we are often the last ones on our long to-do list. We take care of everyone else and make sure they are all fed, clean and clothed. We never have warm coffee or a hot meal - because it is a given that whenever you try to drink it warm or sit down to eat - a kid needs you, something gets spilled or a spoon or fork got tossed across the room.  We often compare ourselves to others. We wonder how they can do it while we struggle. I had a hard time admitting that I was unable to take care of two kids, then three... I felt like I should have been able to do it, but it turns out that it was not for me - and that is okay. Yet, ...