What Social Media Does to a Mom - It is NOT good!

Hello everyone,

I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. Remember to wash your hands, not touch your face, social distance at any cost and wear your face mask. This is not about restricting your rights but about saving lives - the lives of your loved ones.

Moms have already so much pressure on them. We are pushed into all directions and we are often the last ones on our long to-do list. We take care of everyone else and make sure they are all fed, clean and clothed. We never have warm coffee or a hot meal - because it is a given that whenever you try to drink it warm or sit down to eat - a kid needs you, something gets spilled or a spoon or fork got tossed across the room. 

We often compare ourselves to others. We wonder how they can do it while we struggle. I had a hard time admitting that I was unable to take care of two kids, then three... I felt like I should have been able to do it, but it turns out that it was not for me - and that is okay. Yet, I could not help and feel like a failure because they could do it - or so I thought - and I was not able to make it through. 

Social media does not help because let's be honest - who puts bad pictures of themselves on social media? NOBODY!! Well, there are some brave souls that do post makeup-free and show the real side of their lives - but most often, every post is of themselves looking all smiles and their children just look adorable... while you, are there with dark circles under your eyes that you think are the remnants of yesterday's makeup (until you realize you did not wear any) and you have spots of food on your clothes and face because that was your morning... nobody posts that! 

I stopped following many people because my mental healthy needed it. Don't get me wrong, I don't want everyone to look like me - but I should have to be subjected to posts that do nothing to lift me up. I will not tell them not to post or that their post is creating unrealistic expectations for other moms - that is not right because they can post whatever they want - yet, I should not have to do that to myself. Therefore, I do not follow them. It creates less stress in my life and I stop comparing myself.

Another thing I started to do was to tell others my struggles. Guess what??? Those moms that I thought were so put together - they were scrambling like I was to keep everything together. One was even on anti-depressants and anxiety medication and I was shocked!!! Others had marital issues ... and then, it hit me... wow, I never would have thought because their social media or how they looked when I saw them NEVER reflected it... How sad that we, moms, do that. How unfortunate that we find ourselves compelled to show a not so true version of what it is like to be a mom...how very sad.

To all moms out there - DON'T GIVE INTO SOCIAL MEDIA!! Those are not accurate pictures of real mom life. They are but a glimpse into a two minute moment where everything was right...while, it does not show the before and after or the many wardrobe changes or clean-up that was necessary to get that one good shot... Those Pinterest boards - at least, mine are that way - should be realistic and show that hey, that recipe did not turn out exactly like that, but it was a nice meal that my whole family enjoyed. Those posts on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or whatever social platform there is out there - don't look at them. They are not real and they only make you feel worse because you feel as though you are failing.

You are not failing. You are being a mom. You get up each morning, even though you are exhausted, and you get to work - whether at home or outside of the home - and you do it because you love, care and want to give your family the best. You put everyone else before you and it makes you happy - because that is what a mom does. So the house is messy? There are toys all over? You stepped on a Lego...again?? So what? it only means that your kids have fun playing and could play instead of being sick on a hospital bed. Your house was filled with laughter and great memories and that is what matters. Messes can get cleaned up - they always are. Give yourself some grace and enjoy those precious moments because they go away so fast.

Challenge - leave the dishes or any other mess to clean-up and play with the kids. Enjoy them because before we know it, they are teenagers and then, they are off to college...

Hang in there - you are not alone and you are not failing!! 

Until my next post, do your part and stop the spread of Covid-19.

SM