If you are allowed to have a bad day...so are your kids!

Hello everyone,

I hope this post finds you well, safe and healthy. Remember to do your part and help stop the spread of Covid-19.

We were at Church - this was pre-Covid - and we were speaking with my husband's friend. He has six children and he knows about parenting! Our daughter was acting up and we said that we had to go as she was having a bad day. His friend laughed and said: "Hey, we have bad days. Kids are allowed to have them also." My jaw dropped - I was shocked because I had never thought of it that way.

We, adults, have our moments. We have those mornings where nothing is going right and we get in the foulest moods... So, if we are allowed to have them, you would expect that we would be more understanding when our kids have theirs. Unfortunately, the first thing that comes to mind is this: Oh boy! This will be one of those days... At least, that is what I used to think. But after that comment, it really changed my perspective on how to deal with those days when the kids are just not feeling it.

Today, our daughter woke up and was not having it. She started yelling and being whiny and all that with a poopy diaper - that for some reason, she did not want to change out of. I used my methods and after a full belly, she was back to being all smiles.

I have come a long way - but distraction, patience and much love is what works best. By distraction, I mean a toy, book, doll or anything that will distract them from whatever is bothering them that day. Patience because you will need it. Love - a hug, a laugh, a smile, holding their hand, stroking their hair... and just knowing and hoping that a nap may help a bit. And my final armor is prayer. 

Prayer is actually my best armor. I will usually say: God, this is hard, but I know that You will help me get through this. I would say that within that hour, things calm down or I have an idea to do something and it helps calm them down. So, don't ever forget to pray - especially when it gets quite hard.

Questions - yes, I ask them questions. Are you hungry? Are you sleepy? Are you angry? Do you want a hug? Do you want your bear (or doll or whatever their favorite toy is)? Sometimes, just by asking those questions, I can pin point what the real issue is. It has been a life saver.

We tend to forget that kids are little humans - they are just like us, only far smaller. Kids are not just these adorable little ones who coo and babble and giggle - no!!! As they continuously develop, they not only grow mentally, but also emotionally. We have three children and they each have their own personality. It is amazing how similar and yet different they are from one another. And our daughter, she shows signs of independence, stubbornness, persistence, caring, remorseful and so many other character traits, it is astounding to watch her grow and see how she is becoming.

No, it's not easy when they have a bad day. When we did not have children, it was easier to have a bad day. But when you have a bad day and you have kids - you have to suck it up because the show much go on. And when they have a bad day, you need to allow them to have a bad day. You need to allow them to have their feelings and teach them how to deal with them. It will not happen overnight, but as they grow, they will comprehend how to cope. And remember - they are watching you. When you have a bad day - tell them: Mommy is having a bad day. It's not easy, but I will try to turn it into a good day! 

Are you having a bad day? Is your child or children having a bad day? Grant yourself some grace and breathe. You will get through it and so will they. Hang in there.

Until my next post, remember to do your part when it comes to stopping the spread of Covid-19. All you need to do is wash your hands, not touch your face and wear your face masks.

SM