My motherhood journey - not what I expected!

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this you are safe and healthy. Please remember to do your part and stop the spread of Covid-19. Writing - I have always loved writing. I could not wait to have my own diary. Just like music is my escape from the harshness of the world, so is writing. For one, it allows me to fully express all that is in me - the good, the bad and the, at times, very dark and ugly. It has served as my therapy and release of all the emotions that are filtering through me, at that time. Each day, it is my ritual - writing and listening to one of my YouTube playlists. While I listen to the music, it helps unleash my inner creativeness.  When I am facing challenging times, writing brings me some solace. With my pen and paper, I let go of my inhibitions and write out my anger, sadness, fear, uncertainty and aggressiveness and it's only for my eyes. For that moment, I am alone with myself and writing it out is almost as effective as a good cry. At times, I cannot ...

Hello everyone, I hope when you read this post, you are safe and healthy. Allergies are on the rise and the flu season is also close - keep yourself active and healthy! Two of our children were, what is called "SURPRISE" babies. What does this mean? The answer is quite simple. You are on the list to adopt, but were open to adopting a baby whose adoption plan was made at the birth of the child. These are situations where the birthparents were not sure what to do, but once the baby arrived, they feel it best to have an adoption plan in place. For the adoptive parents, this means getting a phone call that lets you know that, if you are interested, there is a baby at the hospital and you have been matched. So, yes - they are "SURPRISE" babies!! When we started the adoption journey, we were open to "SURPRISE" babies. We were excited at the thought of just receiving that call and knowing that a baby was waiting for us. With our daughter, we had less than two mon...

Hello everyone, I hope this post finds you safe and healthy. How was your weekend? Ours was busy, but we got a sweet treat from the kids - they let us sleep in until almost nine in the morning on Sunday - YAY!!! Today, I wanted to share about something I went through and have seen in many women who have infertility. When you have infertility, you go through several stages, but the hardest one to get over is the "ANGER" stage. Many remain in it for years before they free themselves from its grip and some, although rare, never get beyond it. As difficult as it is, we need to get over that stage and move onto the next or else, it will poison you and those around you. Before I continue, I need to say something that is very important. Every one grieves differently. Every one reacts differently. Every one has their own journey. Just because someone got over it within six months, it does not mean you have to do the same. With that being said, you need to take your time to grieve. It...

Hello everyone, I hope you are having a good day and are keeping safe and healthy.  When we started telling people that we were adopting, the one thing that came up was about attachment. Would we be able to attach to a baby that was not biologically linked to us? What if we could not love them or them love us? What about attachment and bonding?  At first, I was not bothered by it, but as the questions kept coming regarding the same matter... I started to wonder about it. Then, when we started to attend the mandatory classes when you adopt, all my doubts, fears and apprehensions went away. The way it was presented to us was that attachment comes with time. Just like we got attached to our spouses as we got to spend time with them and our love grew for them, the same applied to when you adopt. They also assured us that the moment we held that baby in our arms - it would be instant love!! After that class, I was no longer afraid of creating a bond with our baby. In fact, it never...

Hello everyone, YES!!! It has been a long time - but we had a stay-cation (thank you Covid-19) and I decided to focus on family time.  I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy. Remember to do your part to stop the spread of Covid-19. When you adopt, you hear many things - some nice and kind and some...well, you just have the urge them in the face. And it's not that it all comes from a bad place - some come from ignorance about adoption. Also, before we adopted, we were most probably thinking the same thing - that is why education is power. Having gone through this has also made me aware of what I say when I am not educated on the matter at hand. Here are my five top things that I don't need you to tell me as an adoptive parent: 1) Oh, you are such a great person for having saved these children from their horrible parents! Goodness, I don't even know where to begin with this one. There are so many wrong things with this sentence that I need to pu...

  Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy! Here is a scenario: It's morning. Kids have started to wake up. You go into their rooms and they are laughing and playing. You change them and bring them downstairs. You start getting things ready for breakfast. Then, someone wants the same toy and a small fight erupts. You quickly solve it by presenting another toy - calm achieved. Then, as you place the high chairs - who by the way are IDENTICAL because you want to avoid a fight - for some reason, although they are the same, they want to sit in the SAME chair. When that struggle is over and done with...you get to the actual feeding part. Although they love yogurt, that morning - no, no yogurt. You give them salami - which they devour all the time - not today...and then, after having tried everything...they say "Elmo" - that is what they call their granola bars because they have Sesame Street characters on them... pfff - you give in ...

Hello everyone, I hope that when you read this post, you are keeping safe and healthy!  When I was teaching NFP (Natural Family Planning), I was told: "You being infertile is a real gift to your patients." Huh - I was not sure how to take that. I guess I was happy??!! and sad at the same time... I was happy because it would allow me to connect with those facing infertility. It was also sad because I was having a hard time being labelled as - the "Infertility Lady"...  Let me tell you - anyone adopting, having trouble conceiving or experiencing infertility - I am the person they get referred to. And it's great, but at the same time - let's face it, infertility is NOT a fun topic and it is NEVER fun learning that someone you care about is also going through such a difficult journey. There is, generally, not much happiness when I am contacted about that. Currently, I have a few friends that are experiencing challenges with fertility and adoption issues. It has ...