How to survive waiting to be matched with a birthmom!
Hello everyone,
Hope you are all having a pleasant day with coffee. I am enjoying a Smoked Butterscotch Latte and I feel cozy - I, initially felt pissed off...I guess I just needed coffee.
Anyways, I may have already touched on this in a previous post. However, I wanted to write about it from a more personal perspective as we are currently on our third adoption and we are in that waiting process.
The first thing is to not be attached to your phone. Yes, this is what I did with our first adoption and each time the phone rang, my heart stopped and then it sunk when I realized it was not our lawyers. So, put the phone away and just try to be patient.
The second thing would be not to look at the social media of the agency or lawyer that you are using. This is a sure way of making you feel rejected because you will see all these other parents that have been chosen and not you. This then leads you to overthink your profile, your pictures, your letters...and that can be a sure way of going into major panic mode.
The third thing is to not let too many people know that you are now waiting to be called. This is the MOST important one, to be honest. When you start telling people, especially close family members, you will constantly be asked: Any news? Have you been called? I saw their Instagram and a new baby was born...is it you??? So, be picky in who you choose to tell or you can do what we did, we told no one. It's hard to keep it to yourself, but it does avoid a lot of questions that may actually bring you more aggravation or sense of rejection.
The fourth thing is to keep busy. If you are working full-time and have other children, that will most definitely keep you busy. If you are not working full-time and this would be your first child - like it was that case for me with our daughter, then you need to find ways of keeping busy. Reorganize something in the house - a project that you have been dying to tackle. Read a book, go to the movies, go and workout - anything that will get your mind off that waiting.
The fifth thing would be to pray or meditate so you can find some peace and calm during this wait.
Don't be fooled that you will be that person that will be completely cool and not think about it. We are human and for most, it's their first time and they have also waited so long to be a parent. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to be emotional. However, don't let it linger and don't dwell on it because it will drive you crazy.
I am just trusting that when our time comes, we will get that call and then, the countdown begins.
If you are currently in the waiting process, know that you are not alone. That phone call will come and when it does, you will be so elated, excited, nauseous - I was, and you will be a step closer to becoming a parent!
SM
Hope you are all having a pleasant day with coffee. I am enjoying a Smoked Butterscotch Latte and I feel cozy - I, initially felt pissed off...I guess I just needed coffee.
Anyways, I may have already touched on this in a previous post. However, I wanted to write about it from a more personal perspective as we are currently on our third adoption and we are in that waiting process.
The first thing is to not be attached to your phone. Yes, this is what I did with our first adoption and each time the phone rang, my heart stopped and then it sunk when I realized it was not our lawyers. So, put the phone away and just try to be patient.
The second thing would be not to look at the social media of the agency or lawyer that you are using. This is a sure way of making you feel rejected because you will see all these other parents that have been chosen and not you. This then leads you to overthink your profile, your pictures, your letters...and that can be a sure way of going into major panic mode.
The third thing is to not let too many people know that you are now waiting to be called. This is the MOST important one, to be honest. When you start telling people, especially close family members, you will constantly be asked: Any news? Have you been called? I saw their Instagram and a new baby was born...is it you??? So, be picky in who you choose to tell or you can do what we did, we told no one. It's hard to keep it to yourself, but it does avoid a lot of questions that may actually bring you more aggravation or sense of rejection.
The fourth thing is to keep busy. If you are working full-time and have other children, that will most definitely keep you busy. If you are not working full-time and this would be your first child - like it was that case for me with our daughter, then you need to find ways of keeping busy. Reorganize something in the house - a project that you have been dying to tackle. Read a book, go to the movies, go and workout - anything that will get your mind off that waiting.
The fifth thing would be to pray or meditate so you can find some peace and calm during this wait.
Don't be fooled that you will be that person that will be completely cool and not think about it. We are human and for most, it's their first time and they have also waited so long to be a parent. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to be emotional. However, don't let it linger and don't dwell on it because it will drive you crazy.
I am just trusting that when our time comes, we will get that call and then, the countdown begins.
If you are currently in the waiting process, know that you are not alone. That phone call will come and when it does, you will be so elated, excited, nauseous - I was, and you will be a step closer to becoming a parent!
SM
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