Do we want to adopt again??
Hello everyone,
I hope that when you read this post, you are healthy and keeping safe. Remember that just because restrictions have been eased up, it does not mean this pandemic is over - it only means there is room for you in the ICU.
During a nightly feed of our newborn, this thought suddenly popped into my head: "I think I am okay with three kids - not sure I want to adopt again." And as this thought was passing along, I actually felt at peace with it.
The next day, I mentioned it to my husband. He believes I am thinking this way because the newborn stage is the most exhausting of all stages. You are always on high alert and your nights are never the same - for example, last night, it took him a full hour to get through three ounces of milk...and then, he woke up two hours later to feed again.
I took his comment into consideration, yet, since that thought, it has not left my head that I would be okay not going through another adoption process. Why? What is going through my mind?
First off, sleep is essential to me because if I do not get, at least, six hours of uninterrupted sleep - I am not efficient the next day. As I get older, my energy levels are not what they used to be. I need my sleep and with a newborn, your sleep is like a roller coaster - up and down.
Second, I was enjoying our routine where our evenings and nights were pretty calm. Our older kids do wake up later (between eight and nine in the morning) and go to bed fairly early (by seven they are sleeping). Because they are sleep trained, they do not wake up during the night and if they do, they are able to self-soothe. I was then able to go to bed and wake up at the same time.
Third, I am not sure that I want to go through this newborn phase again. It's getting harder because I am older now. I need more sleep and I can't get it because poor kid, when he gets hungry, we have to feed him. He needs his milk to grow and be healthy and chubby in all the right places - which he is.
And so, I am at that place where I am feeling very comfortable with the idea of having only three kids. My husband thinks that I may change my mind as our youngest gets sleep trained and put in his own room. I am not sure about that...
I will give myself time to make a final decision. I don't want to make a decision now, because I am sleep deprived. I also don't want to say something definite because things can change in the next few months. In between adoptions, they ask for a nine month delay and that should provide me with ample time to make up my mind.
The comforting thing about this is that I know that whatever decision I make, my husband will follow. We will not be adopting with only one parent wanting to go through with the adoption. You should never do that - RECIPE FOR DISASTER!!
And so, for the next few months, I will pray and discern what God needs from me. I want to make the right decision for our family as well.
Have you decided not to adopt again? Why? Were both of you on the same page? Was it difficult to make such a decision? Please share and let's build our community.
Remember to wash your hands and not touch your face. Help stop the spread of Covid-19.
SM
I hope that when you read this post, you are healthy and keeping safe. Remember that just because restrictions have been eased up, it does not mean this pandemic is over - it only means there is room for you in the ICU.
During a nightly feed of our newborn, this thought suddenly popped into my head: "I think I am okay with three kids - not sure I want to adopt again." And as this thought was passing along, I actually felt at peace with it.
The next day, I mentioned it to my husband. He believes I am thinking this way because the newborn stage is the most exhausting of all stages. You are always on high alert and your nights are never the same - for example, last night, it took him a full hour to get through three ounces of milk...and then, he woke up two hours later to feed again.
I took his comment into consideration, yet, since that thought, it has not left my head that I would be okay not going through another adoption process. Why? What is going through my mind?
First off, sleep is essential to me because if I do not get, at least, six hours of uninterrupted sleep - I am not efficient the next day. As I get older, my energy levels are not what they used to be. I need my sleep and with a newborn, your sleep is like a roller coaster - up and down.
Second, I was enjoying our routine where our evenings and nights were pretty calm. Our older kids do wake up later (between eight and nine in the morning) and go to bed fairly early (by seven they are sleeping). Because they are sleep trained, they do not wake up during the night and if they do, they are able to self-soothe. I was then able to go to bed and wake up at the same time.
Third, I am not sure that I want to go through this newborn phase again. It's getting harder because I am older now. I need more sleep and I can't get it because poor kid, when he gets hungry, we have to feed him. He needs his milk to grow and be healthy and chubby in all the right places - which he is.
And so, I am at that place where I am feeling very comfortable with the idea of having only three kids. My husband thinks that I may change my mind as our youngest gets sleep trained and put in his own room. I am not sure about that...
I will give myself time to make a final decision. I don't want to make a decision now, because I am sleep deprived. I also don't want to say something definite because things can change in the next few months. In between adoptions, they ask for a nine month delay and that should provide me with ample time to make up my mind.
The comforting thing about this is that I know that whatever decision I make, my husband will follow. We will not be adopting with only one parent wanting to go through with the adoption. You should never do that - RECIPE FOR DISASTER!!
And so, for the next few months, I will pray and discern what God needs from me. I want to make the right decision for our family as well.
Have you decided not to adopt again? Why? Were both of you on the same page? Was it difficult to make such a decision? Please share and let's build our community.
Remember to wash your hands and not touch your face. Help stop the spread of Covid-19.
SM
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