Quarantine and Anxiety - Anxiety
Hello everyone,
I hope that when you read this post that you are safe and healthy. If you happen to be infected or know someone who is, know you are in our prayers. Remember to stay home to stop the spread of this horrible virus.
Anxiety - my constant companion. It never leaves my side and it also never takes a vacation. It feels like it will never go away. The harsh truth is that it will never leave me. I just have to learn to live with it and manage it as best I can.
When I was going through my depression, I only wanted to stay home. The outside seemed so dangerous because it would force me to be exposed. Now, I look at the outside as something that could actually kill me or my family. Yet, I can't wait to be out!!!
My anxiety, however, is not doing so well with this quarantine. My husband just finished a week long of being on call. Each time his phone would go off, I worried that he had to go in. I know that he is taking all the necessary precautions, but I still worry about him. What if he gets sick? what if we all get sick and not all of us survive?
Clearly, I am wanting to control things that are completely out of my control. That is where my anxiety is having a laugh at my expense. I have always been known as one who worries. Yes, I worry about things that could happen but never happen. I waste so much time on worrying that it has prevented my from actually enjoying the moment at hand.
This quarantine is not helping because I am unable to control anything...and it has been so hard to just be able to go and do things. I have been confined to our house since March 7, I believe. That is a long time without having left our community. I have only walked outside a handful of times because being outside makes me anxious.
Most people in our community is practicing safe social distancing, however, someone a few weeks ago, did not. For the next few days, I kept checking myself to make sure that I was not having symptoms. Another time, I touched an invoice that had been left in a plastic wrap on our door. Again, I freaked out for the next few days... Konrad had food poisoning and quarantined himself as GI issues are one of the unlikely symptoms...it was horrific all the scenarios that went through my mind.
Am I getting and feeling better? NOPE. In fact, I am unaware of how bad it really is. I am still undergoing virtual therapy sessions and those have been helpful, but I am still very anxious. My sleep patterns are bad - the night sweats do not help. I find myself wanting to eat more to just fill a void. That void is being able to be outside and not be afraid to touch something.
It feels like the outside is just one big virus and that no matter what I touch, it has been tainted. It's as if this small virus can be everywhere and when my defenses are down, it will get me and my family.
Yes, it will get better, but until then, it will be a long road as to when we will be able to have a more normal life. Until then, all I can do is pray on a daily basis and journal what I feel. I exercise three times a week with our trainer through virtual sessions...and I allow myself to be anxious and restless because fighting it so that I look strong is pointless and plain stupid.
How are you coping? Have you needed medication to help with the anxiety? Have you been depressed? Are you quarantining alone or with family? Do you use social media to be with people in a virtual way?
Let's build our community by staying home and stopping the spread of Covid.
Remember to wash your hands, do not touch your face and respect social distancing guidelines.
SM
I hope that when you read this post that you are safe and healthy. If you happen to be infected or know someone who is, know you are in our prayers. Remember to stay home to stop the spread of this horrible virus.
Anxiety - my constant companion. It never leaves my side and it also never takes a vacation. It feels like it will never go away. The harsh truth is that it will never leave me. I just have to learn to live with it and manage it as best I can.
When I was going through my depression, I only wanted to stay home. The outside seemed so dangerous because it would force me to be exposed. Now, I look at the outside as something that could actually kill me or my family. Yet, I can't wait to be out!!!
My anxiety, however, is not doing so well with this quarantine. My husband just finished a week long of being on call. Each time his phone would go off, I worried that he had to go in. I know that he is taking all the necessary precautions, but I still worry about him. What if he gets sick? what if we all get sick and not all of us survive?
Clearly, I am wanting to control things that are completely out of my control. That is where my anxiety is having a laugh at my expense. I have always been known as one who worries. Yes, I worry about things that could happen but never happen. I waste so much time on worrying that it has prevented my from actually enjoying the moment at hand.
This quarantine is not helping because I am unable to control anything...and it has been so hard to just be able to go and do things. I have been confined to our house since March 7, I believe. That is a long time without having left our community. I have only walked outside a handful of times because being outside makes me anxious.
Most people in our community is practicing safe social distancing, however, someone a few weeks ago, did not. For the next few days, I kept checking myself to make sure that I was not having symptoms. Another time, I touched an invoice that had been left in a plastic wrap on our door. Again, I freaked out for the next few days... Konrad had food poisoning and quarantined himself as GI issues are one of the unlikely symptoms...it was horrific all the scenarios that went through my mind.
Am I getting and feeling better? NOPE. In fact, I am unaware of how bad it really is. I am still undergoing virtual therapy sessions and those have been helpful, but I am still very anxious. My sleep patterns are bad - the night sweats do not help. I find myself wanting to eat more to just fill a void. That void is being able to be outside and not be afraid to touch something.
It feels like the outside is just one big virus and that no matter what I touch, it has been tainted. It's as if this small virus can be everywhere and when my defenses are down, it will get me and my family.
Yes, it will get better, but until then, it will be a long road as to when we will be able to have a more normal life. Until then, all I can do is pray on a daily basis and journal what I feel. I exercise three times a week with our trainer through virtual sessions...and I allow myself to be anxious and restless because fighting it so that I look strong is pointless and plain stupid.
How are you coping? Have you needed medication to help with the anxiety? Have you been depressed? Are you quarantining alone or with family? Do you use social media to be with people in a virtual way?
Let's build our community by staying home and stopping the spread of Covid.
Remember to wash your hands, do not touch your face and respect social distancing guidelines.
SM
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