A Strange and Sad Encounter with an Adoptee
Hello everyone,
I hope you are well. We left for a week to visit family. It was nice but it was nicer to come home and back into our own beds. If you are having a bad day, I hope it gets better. No matter the darkness, you can overcome it. Do not let despair get the best of you.
This past weekend, we were at Walmart and the lady at the cash register looked at our kids and asked: Is she yours? Even though I am used to comments, some just get to me more than others...that is one of those that irks me.
As usual, I always reply politely because in a little while, our kids will be able to understand. I immediately looked at her and smiled and said: Yes, they are both ours, we adopted them. I thought it would end there, but her next question caught me completely off guard. She asked: Is she yours yours?
Again, I replied saying that she was our daughter, as he was our son, and that we had adopted them both.
She then smiled and said she was adopted as well. She told me a bit about her story and I asked if she knew anything about her birthparents. She became sad, looked down, almost as if ashamed, and told us she had no idea who they were.
We spoke for a little while and I thanked her for sharing her story with us. That encounter, although it started strange, it ended with such sadness. That conversation reiterated how important it is to talk about adoption to your children, from the beginning. When I take our kids on a walk, I tell them their story. They can't yet understand, but I want them to never feel ashamed or embarrassed about having been adopted.
Meeting this adoptee also made me appreciate even more the fact that we have so much information on the birthparents. What a privilege we have and our children have. When they will be ready, we will provide them with all the information we were given.
The words chosen by this young lady suggested that she never felt as though she belonged. I hope my kids never feel that way. Since meeting her, I have kept her in my heart and prayers. I hope she finds peace.
We have heard many stories from adoptees, but this one, so far, has been the saddest. I hope and pray that when our children share their stories, they are able to share a happy story.
If you have been adopted and want to share your story, please share. Let's build our community.
SM
I hope you are well. We left for a week to visit family. It was nice but it was nicer to come home and back into our own beds. If you are having a bad day, I hope it gets better. No matter the darkness, you can overcome it. Do not let despair get the best of you.
This past weekend, we were at Walmart and the lady at the cash register looked at our kids and asked: Is she yours? Even though I am used to comments, some just get to me more than others...that is one of those that irks me.
As usual, I always reply politely because in a little while, our kids will be able to understand. I immediately looked at her and smiled and said: Yes, they are both ours, we adopted them. I thought it would end there, but her next question caught me completely off guard. She asked: Is she yours yours?
Again, I replied saying that she was our daughter, as he was our son, and that we had adopted them both.
She then smiled and said she was adopted as well. She told me a bit about her story and I asked if she knew anything about her birthparents. She became sad, looked down, almost as if ashamed, and told us she had no idea who they were.
We spoke for a little while and I thanked her for sharing her story with us. That encounter, although it started strange, it ended with such sadness. That conversation reiterated how important it is to talk about adoption to your children, from the beginning. When I take our kids on a walk, I tell them their story. They can't yet understand, but I want them to never feel ashamed or embarrassed about having been adopted.
Meeting this adoptee also made me appreciate even more the fact that we have so much information on the birthparents. What a privilege we have and our children have. When they will be ready, we will provide them with all the information we were given.
The words chosen by this young lady suggested that she never felt as though she belonged. I hope my kids never feel that way. Since meeting her, I have kept her in my heart and prayers. I hope she finds peace.
We have heard many stories from adoptees, but this one, so far, has been the saddest. I hope and pray that when our children share their stories, they are able to share a happy story.
If you have been adopted and want to share your story, please share. Let's build our community.
SM
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