What does a birthmom look for when she chooses a family or her child?
Hello everyone,
I hope you are all having a great day!
When we started the process for our first adoption, we kept thinking about what would make us attractive to a birthmom...and we asked our lawyers, social worker and those helping us with our adoption album and we looked online.
Did we find an answer? NO!
Because the answer is this: we actually do not know what makes you attractive to them because it is different for each birthmom.
We heard of a case where the birthmom chose a particular family because this family had a dog and she grew up in a family that had a dog. In another case, a family was chosen because there was a picture of the prospective adoptive father pushing his nephew on a swing - for this birthmom, it brought back childhood memories and a feeling of security.
In our case, our first birthmom chose us because we were religious (which was surprising to us), we were open to a child of mixed race and that we could not have children biologically. For our second birthmom, she liked that we travelled a lot and she felt like her son would be a frequent flyer.
For our third adoption? a future blog post will tell.
Therefore, don't overthink what you write or post as pictures because it could be the most insignificant to you, but that may be what makes you stand out more than anyone else. And think of it this way, what an honor to be picked by a random stranger to be the parents of the child they carried for nine months.
If you have are in the process of adopting and are concerned with what to write or post, here is my very simple advice: BE YOURSELF! Show them who you are, who you TRULY are. That is what they want to know from you.
If you wish to share why you were chosen by a birthmom, please share your story - I would love to know why you were chosen.
Take care,
SM
I hope you are all having a great day!
When we started the process for our first adoption, we kept thinking about what would make us attractive to a birthmom...and we asked our lawyers, social worker and those helping us with our adoption album and we looked online.
Did we find an answer? NO!
Because the answer is this: we actually do not know what makes you attractive to them because it is different for each birthmom.
We heard of a case where the birthmom chose a particular family because this family had a dog and she grew up in a family that had a dog. In another case, a family was chosen because there was a picture of the prospective adoptive father pushing his nephew on a swing - for this birthmom, it brought back childhood memories and a feeling of security.
In our case, our first birthmom chose us because we were religious (which was surprising to us), we were open to a child of mixed race and that we could not have children biologically. For our second birthmom, she liked that we travelled a lot and she felt like her son would be a frequent flyer.
For our third adoption? a future blog post will tell.
Therefore, don't overthink what you write or post as pictures because it could be the most insignificant to you, but that may be what makes you stand out more than anyone else. And think of it this way, what an honor to be picked by a random stranger to be the parents of the child they carried for nine months.
If you have are in the process of adopting and are concerned with what to write or post, here is my very simple advice: BE YOURSELF! Show them who you are, who you TRULY are. That is what they want to know from you.
If you wish to share why you were chosen by a birthmom, please share your story - I would love to know why you were chosen.
Take care,
SM
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