When your child wants to meet their birthparents...
Hello everyone,
I am sorry for the long absence. I was sick and had an exam to give in...so, I had to remove what I could in order to get things done and recover.
I wanted to address something that is to be expected when you adopt. There are times when your children wish to meet their birthparents. And as scary as it may be, I think it's important to see this from a different perspective, that is less scary.
Depending on the situation, your adoption may be closed and that means that there is absolutely no contact with the birthparents. The only thing that is shared are pictures and letters. That is the type of adoption we have with both our children.
We have always been open to them wishing to meet their birthparents in the future, because we can understand that they may want to know where they came from. And it can be a frightening experience, but as long as it is well done, it can and should be more of a wonderful and enriching experience for all.
To be honest, I do hope that our children wish to meet their birthparents. It would be nice to see them again and reinforce to them that they made the right decision at the time.
However, I have heard of bad experiences and as much as I want to protect our children, I can't predict what the outcome of this meeting will be. We may also find ourselves in the situation where their birthparents don't want to meet with them...and so, it's all about being prepared.
It is also about starting the conversation with your children and letting them know that you will respect whatever they wish to do.
We shall see what the future holds, but for now, we make sure we provide as many pictures and details to them, in the hope that it shows them that they are okay and thriving.
SM
I am sorry for the long absence. I was sick and had an exam to give in...so, I had to remove what I could in order to get things done and recover.
I wanted to address something that is to be expected when you adopt. There are times when your children wish to meet their birthparents. And as scary as it may be, I think it's important to see this from a different perspective, that is less scary.
Depending on the situation, your adoption may be closed and that means that there is absolutely no contact with the birthparents. The only thing that is shared are pictures and letters. That is the type of adoption we have with both our children.
We have always been open to them wishing to meet their birthparents in the future, because we can understand that they may want to know where they came from. And it can be a frightening experience, but as long as it is well done, it can and should be more of a wonderful and enriching experience for all.
To be honest, I do hope that our children wish to meet their birthparents. It would be nice to see them again and reinforce to them that they made the right decision at the time.
However, I have heard of bad experiences and as much as I want to protect our children, I can't predict what the outcome of this meeting will be. We may also find ourselves in the situation where their birthparents don't want to meet with them...and so, it's all about being prepared.
It is also about starting the conversation with your children and letting them know that you will respect whatever they wish to do.
We shall see what the future holds, but for now, we make sure we provide as many pictures and details to them, in the hope that it shows them that they are okay and thriving.
SM
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