The many looks you get when you adopt
Hello everyone,
This post is about the many looks you get when you go anywhere in public with your children and they are adopted.
1) The surprised look
This look is the one we get the most. Often, the kids are facing us in their stroller. When people then come around and glimpse at them, it never fails: the surprise look! I am not sure if it is a bad or good surprise, but it's a surprise look...I always feel like asking: Were you expecting something else?
2) The double look
This one we get when we are holding the kids. Our daughter is mixed race but not our son. And so, when we walk around, people really give us the double look...it's like they think they know what they saw, but they need to make sure.
3) The "disgust" look
Oh yeah!!! I get this one a lot when I am alone with our daughter. It is usually given to me by women of mixed race and it's sometime followed by a whispered remark to whoever they are with. It's not a fun one and it has gotten me into tears while driving home. I know it will happen again, and I will slowly prepare Sophia for it.
4) The "oh!! you got pregnant after you adopted!! How great!!"
Yeah, NO!! Both our kids were adopted, but because our son is caucasian, it is al ALWAYS assumed that we conceived naturally. So, we quickly make sure that it is known that they are both adopted.
5) The "oh, you sweet soul to have adopted those kids and saved them!"
We did not save anyone when we adopted our kids. They saved us from a life of childlessness. They saved us from our sadness of not knowing what it would be like to be parents.
Now, our children are still at that innocent age where they don't understand the world yet. Therefore, many of the looks and comments don't affect them. But they will, in time, and that is why we now act as though they do so that they can learn from us how to act in the future.
And don't get me wrong, I know that our family looks a little different, but it's our family and it's a beautiful family - well, I think so. And I am proud of our family and so we walk with our head held high and we share our story with whoever wants to hear it.
Next time you see a family that looks different to you, remember this: families come in all shapes and sizes and they happen in many different and beautiful ways. Remember also that you don't know their story. Their story may have been one paved with much sadness and grief and now, they are happy to show how they have a family.
Be kind and be respectful and mindful of others.
SM
This post is about the many looks you get when you go anywhere in public with your children and they are adopted.
1) The surprised look
This look is the one we get the most. Often, the kids are facing us in their stroller. When people then come around and glimpse at them, it never fails: the surprise look! I am not sure if it is a bad or good surprise, but it's a surprise look...I always feel like asking: Were you expecting something else?
2) The double look
This one we get when we are holding the kids. Our daughter is mixed race but not our son. And so, when we walk around, people really give us the double look...it's like they think they know what they saw, but they need to make sure.
3) The "disgust" look
Oh yeah!!! I get this one a lot when I am alone with our daughter. It is usually given to me by women of mixed race and it's sometime followed by a whispered remark to whoever they are with. It's not a fun one and it has gotten me into tears while driving home. I know it will happen again, and I will slowly prepare Sophia for it.
4) The "oh!! you got pregnant after you adopted!! How great!!"
Yeah, NO!! Both our kids were adopted, but because our son is caucasian, it is al ALWAYS assumed that we conceived naturally. So, we quickly make sure that it is known that they are both adopted.
5) The "oh, you sweet soul to have adopted those kids and saved them!"
We did not save anyone when we adopted our kids. They saved us from a life of childlessness. They saved us from our sadness of not knowing what it would be like to be parents.
Now, our children are still at that innocent age where they don't understand the world yet. Therefore, many of the looks and comments don't affect them. But they will, in time, and that is why we now act as though they do so that they can learn from us how to act in the future.
And don't get me wrong, I know that our family looks a little different, but it's our family and it's a beautiful family - well, I think so. And I am proud of our family and so we walk with our head held high and we share our story with whoever wants to hear it.
Next time you see a family that looks different to you, remember this: families come in all shapes and sizes and they happen in many different and beautiful ways. Remember also that you don't know their story. Their story may have been one paved with much sadness and grief and now, they are happy to show how they have a family.
Be kind and be respectful and mindful of others.
SM
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