Natural Family Planning - how it helped us!
Hello everyone,
I hope you all had a great Labor Day with much family time and rest.
Let us just take a moment to think of those in the Bahamas who are being pounded heavily by a very slow moving Dorian. Let us also not forget those in Florida and the others along the East Coast as they brace and prepare for whatever Dorian brings them.
Today, I wanted to share about NFP (Natural Family Planning) and it actually helped us to obtain a diagnosis and closure on our infertility journey.
As a brief disclaimer, I am in no way an expert in NFP and I am not endorsing any particular method of NFP. I am simply sharing our story and what worked for us. If you wish to know more about NFP, there are many online resources that can help you and let you choose the best method for you and your needs.
Before I begin, I do want to dispel a few myths about NFP:
1) It's NOT a Catholic thing. In fact, people of all religious backgrounds or none use NFP because it a more natural approach for women to learn about their cycles.
2) If you use NFP, you will always be pregnant and end up with twenty children. If you use NFP properly, you are able to learn your cycles of fertility and infertility, as a couple, and therefore, if you have intercourse at a time of fertility and get pregnant...well, NFP did not fail...it worked because you used a day of fertility and got pregnant. Also, as we age, our fertility decreases, therefore, having twenty children can happen, but not that likely.
3) If you use NFP, you can no longer be spontaneous with your sex life. That could not be more wrong. If there is no spontaneity in your sex life, it's not because of NFP, it's because of YOU!
4) Using NFP is only for people who have regular cycles with no issues. Again, that is wrong because NFP has greatly advanced and it can be used whether you have regular, short or long cycles or no cycles at all. You just need to be informed about the types of methods and find the ones that best fits your needs.
5)NFP is purely based on calculating days, it's all about the Rhythm or Calendar method. Again, this is very wrong because NFP is actually rooted in science. It's not what our grandmothers used back then. They are even some methods that are medical models that can actually help to obtain a better diagnosis and monitoring of someone's problematic cycles.
There are more myths, but there are some that often came up when I told people that we were using NFP. If you know more of have been told others, please do share and let's have a small laugh together!
We actually started using NFP right after we got engaged so that once married, we would have a clear picture of what my cycles looked like. We knew we wanted children, but just wanted to know when would be the best time to conceive. We also wanted to see if my cycles would exhibit any red flags that would indicate that we needed medical intervention.
Billings was the method we first started with. It has been around for over 40 years and is a mucus only observation method. With the use of different colored stamps and paper charts, you track your daily observations when going to the bathroom and make a final observation at the end of the day before going to sleep. As you get the hang of it, you begin to see your patterns: period, dry days, days of mucus being present, dry days and your period starts again. It takes approximately about two months to get a clear picture of what your patterns are and it actually makes you very in tune with your body. As were going through some major life changes: getting married, moving in together after we were married, him passing his medical boards and moving to the USA, it is only normal that my cycles were just a little more erratic. Yet, there were no clear red flags and we decided to abstain from conceiving for a few months so that we would not be stuck in a situation where I could not travel because of the pregnancy.
I can't tell you how many times we have looked back at that time and thought: what if we had not waited? But now, one can only look to the present and not regret actions of the past.
We used Billings for almost two years and, although we used our fertile window, we never achieved a pregnancy.
Then, we miscarried... I will share that in another post.
After that, we decided to use the Creighton Model, which is also a mucus based method but is also a medical model, such that there are medical protocols that accompany the method. Treatments range from vitamins, to bio-identical hormone therapy, medication and, at times, surgery. We were lucky that we had a few doctors and teachers of this method in our town and we started in December of 2012.
We used Creighton until approximately 2017, when I had my surgery, and a little after that. We also started some blood work to just have a baseline of my hormones. I charted for a couple of months and nothing could be detected, but once I did the blood work, which was a month long process, it was determined that I had very low levels of Progesterone. This meant that I was not able to carry a pregnancy to term and it also caused me to have unusual bleeding before my true period began and I had some pretty bad PMS symptoms.
I was put on oral Progesterone, which helped to make my cycles more regular, diminish my PMS symptoms and no longer did I experience unusual bleeding. I honestly thought that with this, we would get pregnant.
We had other tests to take, such as an abdominal and pelvic ultrasound and a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) where they basically flush fluid in your Fallopian Tubes to see if they are blocked. We never got to do those tests until far later. The reason was pure fear and we had really bad insurance at the time and those procedures are very expensive.
In the Fall of 2016, about three years after we started charting with Creighton, we met with a NaproTechnology doctor (Creighton trained physicians) and we told him about us. He suggested surgery because he said that the charts did not show much because they looked fairly normal and regular. he suspected endometriosis. And so, I am not able to explain what came over me but I was ready to go!
I was scheduled in February of 2017 and my ultrasounds, both pelvic and abdominal, confirmed that there was a lot of inflammation in my uterus and my ovaries and that I had what is called "chocolate cysts". You can't believe how many times I tell people that I have proof that I am sweet inside and out!!
Anyways, the surgery was successful...somewhat! I was diagnosed with widespread Stage IV endometriosis. In fact, it was so bad that it was as if the endometriosis just took over and decided to cover all of my reproductive organs and it caused much inflammation in my uterus as well. The surgeon removed it all and told us that we had six months to one year to be parents...
I will share the rest of how we became parents in a future post...
After the surgery, I was put on medication to help me ovulate but it caused more bleeding than anything else and so, I stopped taking any medication and stopped charting. My husband and I made the decision together because we knew that with the devastation and severe damage that was caused to my reproductive organs, there was just no way that we could conceive naturally.
Was it crushing? yes! But, it also brought so much relief and closure to both of us, because now, we knew that we could finally move on from this and go onto the next thing, being adoption.
It was a long and painful journey, but I am so grateful that we used NFP because we never felt like cattle and our doctors made sure that they would make us healthy. We were never promised a child, we were promised health. And healthy is what I am today. I have more regular cycles, I no longer experience pain during intercourse, which I actually never thought of as a problem, until I had surgery. I also have an easier time being happy for others who are pregnant and can be there for them.
Don't get me wrong, I can't relate to someone who is pregnant, and so, I am not the best sounding board, but I can be excited and get them gifts and share in being a mother with them.
Do you use NFP or would like to? Here are a few websites that I encourage you to visit:
1) Creighton Model
https://www.creightonmodel.com
2) Billings Method
https://www.boma-usa.org
3) Marquette Method
https://www.mmnfp.com
4) FEMM
https://femmhealth.org
5) Learn more about NFP
https://naturalwomanhood.org
What do you think of NFP? Is it something that you think can help you? or do you think it's a hippie, holding hands and let's all sing together thing? Please share!
Wishing you a great day, wherever you are!
SM
I hope you all had a great Labor Day with much family time and rest.
Let us just take a moment to think of those in the Bahamas who are being pounded heavily by a very slow moving Dorian. Let us also not forget those in Florida and the others along the East Coast as they brace and prepare for whatever Dorian brings them.
Today, I wanted to share about NFP (Natural Family Planning) and it actually helped us to obtain a diagnosis and closure on our infertility journey.
As a brief disclaimer, I am in no way an expert in NFP and I am not endorsing any particular method of NFP. I am simply sharing our story and what worked for us. If you wish to know more about NFP, there are many online resources that can help you and let you choose the best method for you and your needs.
Before I begin, I do want to dispel a few myths about NFP:
1) It's NOT a Catholic thing. In fact, people of all religious backgrounds or none use NFP because it a more natural approach for women to learn about their cycles.
2) If you use NFP, you will always be pregnant and end up with twenty children. If you use NFP properly, you are able to learn your cycles of fertility and infertility, as a couple, and therefore, if you have intercourse at a time of fertility and get pregnant...well, NFP did not fail...it worked because you used a day of fertility and got pregnant. Also, as we age, our fertility decreases, therefore, having twenty children can happen, but not that likely.
3) If you use NFP, you can no longer be spontaneous with your sex life. That could not be more wrong. If there is no spontaneity in your sex life, it's not because of NFP, it's because of YOU!
4) Using NFP is only for people who have regular cycles with no issues. Again, that is wrong because NFP has greatly advanced and it can be used whether you have regular, short or long cycles or no cycles at all. You just need to be informed about the types of methods and find the ones that best fits your needs.
5)NFP is purely based on calculating days, it's all about the Rhythm or Calendar method. Again, this is very wrong because NFP is actually rooted in science. It's not what our grandmothers used back then. They are even some methods that are medical models that can actually help to obtain a better diagnosis and monitoring of someone's problematic cycles.
There are more myths, but there are some that often came up when I told people that we were using NFP. If you know more of have been told others, please do share and let's have a small laugh together!
We actually started using NFP right after we got engaged so that once married, we would have a clear picture of what my cycles looked like. We knew we wanted children, but just wanted to know when would be the best time to conceive. We also wanted to see if my cycles would exhibit any red flags that would indicate that we needed medical intervention.
Billings was the method we first started with. It has been around for over 40 years and is a mucus only observation method. With the use of different colored stamps and paper charts, you track your daily observations when going to the bathroom and make a final observation at the end of the day before going to sleep. As you get the hang of it, you begin to see your patterns: period, dry days, days of mucus being present, dry days and your period starts again. It takes approximately about two months to get a clear picture of what your patterns are and it actually makes you very in tune with your body. As were going through some major life changes: getting married, moving in together after we were married, him passing his medical boards and moving to the USA, it is only normal that my cycles were just a little more erratic. Yet, there were no clear red flags and we decided to abstain from conceiving for a few months so that we would not be stuck in a situation where I could not travel because of the pregnancy.
I can't tell you how many times we have looked back at that time and thought: what if we had not waited? But now, one can only look to the present and not regret actions of the past.
We used Billings for almost two years and, although we used our fertile window, we never achieved a pregnancy.
Then, we miscarried... I will share that in another post.
After that, we decided to use the Creighton Model, which is also a mucus based method but is also a medical model, such that there are medical protocols that accompany the method. Treatments range from vitamins, to bio-identical hormone therapy, medication and, at times, surgery. We were lucky that we had a few doctors and teachers of this method in our town and we started in December of 2012.
We used Creighton until approximately 2017, when I had my surgery, and a little after that. We also started some blood work to just have a baseline of my hormones. I charted for a couple of months and nothing could be detected, but once I did the blood work, which was a month long process, it was determined that I had very low levels of Progesterone. This meant that I was not able to carry a pregnancy to term and it also caused me to have unusual bleeding before my true period began and I had some pretty bad PMS symptoms.
I was put on oral Progesterone, which helped to make my cycles more regular, diminish my PMS symptoms and no longer did I experience unusual bleeding. I honestly thought that with this, we would get pregnant.
We had other tests to take, such as an abdominal and pelvic ultrasound and a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) where they basically flush fluid in your Fallopian Tubes to see if they are blocked. We never got to do those tests until far later. The reason was pure fear and we had really bad insurance at the time and those procedures are very expensive.
In the Fall of 2016, about three years after we started charting with Creighton, we met with a NaproTechnology doctor (Creighton trained physicians) and we told him about us. He suggested surgery because he said that the charts did not show much because they looked fairly normal and regular. he suspected endometriosis. And so, I am not able to explain what came over me but I was ready to go!
I was scheduled in February of 2017 and my ultrasounds, both pelvic and abdominal, confirmed that there was a lot of inflammation in my uterus and my ovaries and that I had what is called "chocolate cysts". You can't believe how many times I tell people that I have proof that I am sweet inside and out!!
Anyways, the surgery was successful...somewhat! I was diagnosed with widespread Stage IV endometriosis. In fact, it was so bad that it was as if the endometriosis just took over and decided to cover all of my reproductive organs and it caused much inflammation in my uterus as well. The surgeon removed it all and told us that we had six months to one year to be parents...
I will share the rest of how we became parents in a future post...
After the surgery, I was put on medication to help me ovulate but it caused more bleeding than anything else and so, I stopped taking any medication and stopped charting. My husband and I made the decision together because we knew that with the devastation and severe damage that was caused to my reproductive organs, there was just no way that we could conceive naturally.
Was it crushing? yes! But, it also brought so much relief and closure to both of us, because now, we knew that we could finally move on from this and go onto the next thing, being adoption.
It was a long and painful journey, but I am so grateful that we used NFP because we never felt like cattle and our doctors made sure that they would make us healthy. We were never promised a child, we were promised health. And healthy is what I am today. I have more regular cycles, I no longer experience pain during intercourse, which I actually never thought of as a problem, until I had surgery. I also have an easier time being happy for others who are pregnant and can be there for them.
Don't get me wrong, I can't relate to someone who is pregnant, and so, I am not the best sounding board, but I can be excited and get them gifts and share in being a mother with them.
Do you use NFP or would like to? Here are a few websites that I encourage you to visit:
1) Creighton Model
https://www.creightonmodel.com
2) Billings Method
https://www.boma-usa.org
3) Marquette Method
https://www.mmnfp.com
4) FEMM
https://femmhealth.org
5) Learn more about NFP
https://naturalwomanhood.org
What do you think of NFP? Is it something that you think can help you? or do you think it's a hippie, holding hands and let's all sing together thing? Please share!
Wishing you a great day, wherever you are!
SM
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