Having to choose where you go when your child is of mixed race
Hello everyone,
Hope you all had a pleasant weekend.
We had a nice family outing on Sunday, but it was quickly marred by a very annoying situation - being looked at because our child is of mixed race.
It started with looks wherever we went. Then, as our daughter explored the park, kids would turn the other way or not go where she was. My husband was with her, as I was feeding our son, but I kept a close watch. He was shocked as no one approached him or us, for that matter. There were a few men who did say hello to her and a nice couple who spoke to her for a while. She was just enjoying this world and yet, we, her parents, felt all those stares and snickers. How wonderful that she is still so innocent.
We came home sad and telling ourselves that we will never go to that park again, because as our children grow up, we don't want them to be exposed to that, as much as we can help it.
I am used to it, but my husband sees it rarely and he was very much affected by it. What was to be a great and fun family time moment with pictures turned into a quick time at the playground with us leaving to walk around so we could have more fun.
We came home sad and started to think of future places to take them because they will grow and they will both be exposed to it. Our is Caucasian and he will have to be the advocate for his siblings and he may be resentful or just feel like it's his duty to show others that love and kindness is far easier and better than hate.
It also reinforced our decision to adopt another child or two so that our daughter will not be the only mixed race in our family.
And yes...there is clear preference from some members of his family towards our son, but we will need to be more assertive and not tolerate it because we won't have any of it.
Families come together in different ways and families come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Family is love, laughter, happiness, memories and a bond so strong that no one could ever break.
If you happen to be in our situation, just stay calm and don't try to create a scene. If you need to leave, then do so. Always act with politeness and never let it get it to you, especially, if the kids are with you. They will learn from you how to deal with this type of situation. Remain calm and always talk about it, after the fact, with your kids. Our kids are still too young, so we speak to each other, but as they grow older, we will always keep the lines of communication open so that we can equip them with the tools they need to deal with future events.
Yesterday was not the first time nor will it be the last time that we encounter such a thing. But, no matter the place, we will always use politeness and kindness to fight back hatred and judgment.
Have you experienced this type of situation as a child or adult? How did you react? Did you talk about it with your parents or children?
Wishing you a great day! Remember to be loving and kind!
SM
Hope you all had a pleasant weekend.
We had a nice family outing on Sunday, but it was quickly marred by a very annoying situation - being looked at because our child is of mixed race.
It started with looks wherever we went. Then, as our daughter explored the park, kids would turn the other way or not go where she was. My husband was with her, as I was feeding our son, but I kept a close watch. He was shocked as no one approached him or us, for that matter. There were a few men who did say hello to her and a nice couple who spoke to her for a while. She was just enjoying this world and yet, we, her parents, felt all those stares and snickers. How wonderful that she is still so innocent.
We came home sad and telling ourselves that we will never go to that park again, because as our children grow up, we don't want them to be exposed to that, as much as we can help it.
I am used to it, but my husband sees it rarely and he was very much affected by it. What was to be a great and fun family time moment with pictures turned into a quick time at the playground with us leaving to walk around so we could have more fun.
We came home sad and started to think of future places to take them because they will grow and they will both be exposed to it. Our is Caucasian and he will have to be the advocate for his siblings and he may be resentful or just feel like it's his duty to show others that love and kindness is far easier and better than hate.
It also reinforced our decision to adopt another child or two so that our daughter will not be the only mixed race in our family.
And yes...there is clear preference from some members of his family towards our son, but we will need to be more assertive and not tolerate it because we won't have any of it.
Families come together in different ways and families come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Family is love, laughter, happiness, memories and a bond so strong that no one could ever break.
If you happen to be in our situation, just stay calm and don't try to create a scene. If you need to leave, then do so. Always act with politeness and never let it get it to you, especially, if the kids are with you. They will learn from you how to deal with this type of situation. Remain calm and always talk about it, after the fact, with your kids. Our kids are still too young, so we speak to each other, but as they grow older, we will always keep the lines of communication open so that we can equip them with the tools they need to deal with future events.
Yesterday was not the first time nor will it be the last time that we encounter such a thing. But, no matter the place, we will always use politeness and kindness to fight back hatred and judgment.
Have you experienced this type of situation as a child or adult? How did you react? Did you talk about it with your parents or children?
Wishing you a great day! Remember to be loving and kind!
SM
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