Adoption stories - they belong to your children
Hello everyone,
I wanted to write about the adoption stories that belong to your children. Yes, you have read that correctly. Adoption stories belong to your children and only they can share them.
I can understand that family or friends want to know where they came from, who the birthparents are and other details, but what we need to remember is that those details are personal and should stay that way.
Think of it this way...you would not want others to know about your personal life, then why would put your children't private information out there for others? Right?
And we had to constantly be careful with what we shared because we just didn't want them to share those details with others. And people could then tell them to our kids without us even telling them before.
I heard of a story where a mother had shared that their children were adopted through a catholic charity. This person with whom they shared this information with, they went to the kid in question and told them: oh, did you know that your dad was priest who had a relationship with a nun???? WHAT THE *&&^^????
Yeah, because that is what people do, they just take that information and twist it around and then make WILD assumptions...and then, your kids suffer the brunt of it.
So, be mindful of the information you share. Sharing general information like: race, gender, age of the baby or child is enough. The rest is not information that needs to be shared.
Be responsible and be your children's advocate. Tell them their story and then let them know that it is personal to them and they don't need to share it with anyone, unless they want to.
We are guilty of having shared things we shouldn't have, but were happy that we stopped saying more before things could have been worse.
I do already tell them about their story, even if they are still so small. Later in life, they will be able to know where they came from and who their birthparents were...and if they wish to share that information, then, it will be their choice, not mine!
SM
I wanted to write about the adoption stories that belong to your children. Yes, you have read that correctly. Adoption stories belong to your children and only they can share them.
I can understand that family or friends want to know where they came from, who the birthparents are and other details, but what we need to remember is that those details are personal and should stay that way.
Think of it this way...you would not want others to know about your personal life, then why would put your children't private information out there for others? Right?
And we had to constantly be careful with what we shared because we just didn't want them to share those details with others. And people could then tell them to our kids without us even telling them before.
I heard of a story where a mother had shared that their children were adopted through a catholic charity. This person with whom they shared this information with, they went to the kid in question and told them: oh, did you know that your dad was priest who had a relationship with a nun???? WHAT THE *&&^^????
Yeah, because that is what people do, they just take that information and twist it around and then make WILD assumptions...and then, your kids suffer the brunt of it.
So, be mindful of the information you share. Sharing general information like: race, gender, age of the baby or child is enough. The rest is not information that needs to be shared.
Be responsible and be your children's advocate. Tell them their story and then let them know that it is personal to them and they don't need to share it with anyone, unless they want to.
We are guilty of having shared things we shouldn't have, but were happy that we stopped saying more before things could have been worse.
I do already tell them about their story, even if they are still so small. Later in life, they will be able to know where they came from and who their birthparents were...and if they wish to share that information, then, it will be their choice, not mine!
SM
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