Adoption Series - Blog Post #9
Hello everyone,
I hope you are having a good day. If you are not, know that I so hope and pray that your day gets better - if not today, then, in the days to come.
"How come you don't have children of your own?"
Simple question, but not so simple to answer.
In our case, we did try for several years to grow our family, the "natural" way. I charted my cycles, I took hormones to supplement what I lacked. I started to lose more weight and watch what I ate. Then, we miscarried and it broke me.
Several years later, after surgery and a slew of medications which made me feel worse instead of better, we pulled the plug! We did not give up, in any way. What we did was accept the reality that we could not grow our family, the "natural" way. We also came both to the realization that what we really wanted was to become parents and not just have a baby!
From that moment on, it became easier to just go on living. The pressure of waiting for our fertile window, taking medication, taking a pregnancy test - I HATED TAKING THEM EACH AND EVERY TIME... It was FINALLY over!
When someone asks that question, it implies that we don't have children of our own...which we do, we have two beautiful, healthy and vivacious children. True, they are not our biological children, but when we adopted them, they became our children - no matter what!
On the flip side, you don't know me or my story. We do have a third child - she died almost seven years ago. Just because we did not get to see her and hold her, she is still ours. But, clearly, no one can see that we had her because she is in heaven.
Again, this brings me back to something I repeat often: be mindful of your questions because, unless you know us, you don't know our story! Be careful with how you ask things and know that we all have a story where some parts are darker than others.
So, my question to this answer is the following: yes, I have two children and we also have a daughter who died several years ago. If people want to know more, I am okay with that. I will only not answer questions that are personal to our children and their adoption story...other than that, I am pretty much open about my story.
If you have a question that people ask you and it makes you uncomfortable, you can tell them that it's not appropriate. You have a right to your privacy and your feelings.
SM
I hope you are having a good day. If you are not, know that I so hope and pray that your day gets better - if not today, then, in the days to come.
"How come you don't have children of your own?"
Simple question, but not so simple to answer.
In our case, we did try for several years to grow our family, the "natural" way. I charted my cycles, I took hormones to supplement what I lacked. I started to lose more weight and watch what I ate. Then, we miscarried and it broke me.
Several years later, after surgery and a slew of medications which made me feel worse instead of better, we pulled the plug! We did not give up, in any way. What we did was accept the reality that we could not grow our family, the "natural" way. We also came both to the realization that what we really wanted was to become parents and not just have a baby!
From that moment on, it became easier to just go on living. The pressure of waiting for our fertile window, taking medication, taking a pregnancy test - I HATED TAKING THEM EACH AND EVERY TIME... It was FINALLY over!
When someone asks that question, it implies that we don't have children of our own...which we do, we have two beautiful, healthy and vivacious children. True, they are not our biological children, but when we adopted them, they became our children - no matter what!
On the flip side, you don't know me or my story. We do have a third child - she died almost seven years ago. Just because we did not get to see her and hold her, she is still ours. But, clearly, no one can see that we had her because she is in heaven.
Again, this brings me back to something I repeat often: be mindful of your questions because, unless you know us, you don't know our story! Be careful with how you ask things and know that we all have a story where some parts are darker than others.
So, my question to this answer is the following: yes, I have two children and we also have a daughter who died several years ago. If people want to know more, I am okay with that. I will only not answer questions that are personal to our children and their adoption story...other than that, I am pretty much open about my story.
If you have a question that people ask you and it makes you uncomfortable, you can tell them that it's not appropriate. You have a right to your privacy and your feelings.
SM
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