Am I over my infertility?

Hello everyone,

I pray this post finds you healthy and feeling blessed.

A few years back, I was at a coffee shop with a friend. She was going through infertility issues and wanted to meet with me. During our conversation, she was surprised I was still bothered by my infertility even though we now had children - via adoption. 

It then clicked in my mind that infertility never leaves you - it stays with you always. What does leave you is the constant sadness and feeling of being broken. But to think that my children have removed my infertility would be a false misconception.

So, am I over my infertility? Honestly, not at all! Pregnancy announcements still bother me - not as much, but they still do. Hearing that someone got pregnant after their surgery will bother me. Seeing my in-laws get pregnant together will bother me. 

However, it no longer bothers me as much or as long as it used to. Within a few minutes, I am overwhelming happy and start adding them to my "Expectant Mom" prayer list. It was nice to realize that one's happiness was no longer my sadness.  Besides, I know the pain of infertility far too well and do not wish it upon anyone. Being bitter towards those who can conceive is about as useful as trying to find a needle in a bucket of sand. Don't let the pain seep in too deep - it will destroy you and hurt all the relationships around you.

I am infertile - have been for years now. It did not get better or worse - I just remained infertile, even after the surgery. But, my infertility became a gift - yes, you read correctly! It has shaped me into the person I am today. It made me more aware of women who are having infertility issues. I have learned to listen better and be empathetic towards those that have not yet been been through the whole realm of infertility treatments. It has allowed me to meet so many other women that have struggled with infertility and thought they were alone. It has also made me a huge advocate for adoption and birthmoms!

My children are a constant reminder of how blessed and fortunate I am to have been chosen by their birthmoms. Three brave strangers who chose life and made an adoption plan...and then, chose me to love and nurture the child they carried for nine months. Wow! What an honor that was! I am eternally grateful to them.

My motherhood journey was not the one I expected. It took a long time to come to fruition, but when it did, God prevailed. Within twenty-six months, I became the mom of three beautiful and healthy children. It is chaos, at times, but it is our chaos and I love it!

If you are struggling with infertility, know that you are not alone. There are many of us out there. Whether or not you have children, the infertility never leaves you. But, it will get better and you will find joy again in someone's happiness. Connect with others who are facing the same issues - trying to connect with someone who does not have infertility can be more frustrating. 

Search the web, social media, your parish or local community and seek the support network you need. Find a blog that has posts you can relate to - I have one to recommend: The Fruitful Hollow (https://www.thefruitfulhollow.com/). It is a Catholic blog - so, be aware of that before you visit it. Don't go through this alone - because you are not alone.

Until my next post, be still in waiting.

SM