Being your Child's Advocate when you Adopt
Hello everyone,
I hope that this post finds you healthy and safe. Please remember to respect the orders of your local government, be kind to others and, most importantly, wash your hands and DO NOT touch your face. Let's us keep united with social distancing and keeping this virus as far from us as we can.
For those who have lost a loved one from this virus, I am sorry for your loss and keep you all in prayer. If you are infected or know someone who is, know you are prayed for.
I wanted to touch base on something that has taken place with each of our adoptions. It seems that people have many false impressions about adoption. And most of these false impressions are often linked with the birthparents.
For each of our adoptions, the same comment was made: I guess they were not loved by their parents or Who could just give up a child like that?
These questions, although I can understand why you would ask them, are clearly the sign that people still have a lot of prejudices against birthparents. Often, they are seen as these horrible people that gave up their children to others to raise. It's also commonly thought that they were not loved.
This is where we, adoptive parents, need to step in and be our child's advocate. When they are little, they can't understand what is being said. But when they grow older and these false statements are being thrown around, it can upset them and cause much trauma.
The only way to remedy this situation is to educate...educate and educate! This education must start the moment that the comment is made. You cannot let it happen once and tell yourself that they don't know better. The issue is that they will spread this to others. My Mom has been guilty of this where she shared false information to family friends. I got very upset and told her that she is not to repeat anything of what we share with her to anyone. Since then, I no longer share anything with her or anyone else in the family.
As you educate, you will get pushback and you will get comments, but you just need to keep educating or else your kids will start to believe those lies about their birthparents. You are not only their advocate but their birthparents as well.
You cannot and should not let people say false things. And yes, you cannot control what they say after, but at least, you will have done everything to rectify the facts. Your kids will appreciate it and will start to speak in the same language that you are using.
Be strong in educating and be bold in defending your family.
If you or a loved one has been in a situation where false information or assumptions were spread by those around them, please share your experience. Let's build our community.
Keep safe and healthy!
SM
I hope that this post finds you healthy and safe. Please remember to respect the orders of your local government, be kind to others and, most importantly, wash your hands and DO NOT touch your face. Let's us keep united with social distancing and keeping this virus as far from us as we can.
For those who have lost a loved one from this virus, I am sorry for your loss and keep you all in prayer. If you are infected or know someone who is, know you are prayed for.
I wanted to touch base on something that has taken place with each of our adoptions. It seems that people have many false impressions about adoption. And most of these false impressions are often linked with the birthparents.
For each of our adoptions, the same comment was made: I guess they were not loved by their parents or Who could just give up a child like that?
These questions, although I can understand why you would ask them, are clearly the sign that people still have a lot of prejudices against birthparents. Often, they are seen as these horrible people that gave up their children to others to raise. It's also commonly thought that they were not loved.
This is where we, adoptive parents, need to step in and be our child's advocate. When they are little, they can't understand what is being said. But when they grow older and these false statements are being thrown around, it can upset them and cause much trauma.
The only way to remedy this situation is to educate...educate and educate! This education must start the moment that the comment is made. You cannot let it happen once and tell yourself that they don't know better. The issue is that they will spread this to others. My Mom has been guilty of this where she shared false information to family friends. I got very upset and told her that she is not to repeat anything of what we share with her to anyone. Since then, I no longer share anything with her or anyone else in the family.
As you educate, you will get pushback and you will get comments, but you just need to keep educating or else your kids will start to believe those lies about their birthparents. You are not only their advocate but their birthparents as well.
You cannot and should not let people say false things. And yes, you cannot control what they say after, but at least, you will have done everything to rectify the facts. Your kids will appreciate it and will start to speak in the same language that you are using.
Be strong in educating and be bold in defending your family.
If you or a loved one has been in a situation where false information or assumptions were spread by those around them, please share your experience. Let's build our community.
Keep safe and healthy!
SM
Comments