Adoption Series - Blog Post #4
Hello everyone,
I hope that you are having a good day. If you are not, I hope it does get better.
Going back to the adoption series, I wanted to write about the decisions that you will need to make, once you are ready to go through the adoption route. As I go through them, I will share which ones we chose and why.
The first thing you will need to consider is which agency you will use to help you with your adoption.
After searching the web, you will notice that there are several options that are offered to you. You can go with your local adoption agency, a law firm, a larger-scale organization or a faith-based organization.
Your decision will vary depending on your goals, the costs, the timeline, your immigration status or any other factor which would impact which organization you wish to choose.
We chose to work with the local law firm. To be fair, because of our immigration status, we thought it safer to go with a law firm. We wanted to ensure that all the legal documents and matters were taken care of. The last thing we wanted was to adopt and then be stuck at the border and not be able to cross due to some legal technicality that had not been taken care of.
In addition, this law firm had over thirty years of experience in the field of adoption. They also helped to implement legislation in the domain of adoption and foster care. Moreover, they not only protect the adoptive parents, they also protect the birthparents. You can see that they care about both parties and are mindful of each.
Once you have chosen who you want to work with, you will need to discuss whether you want to have a closed or an open adoption.
In our case, the choice was simple. We have closed adoptions. This means that we did not disclose our identities - we used pseudonyms - or any other information that could be traceable. We have no physical contact with the birthparents, except through a web portal. Through this portal, we exchange pictures and letters, according to a timeline. Once our kids will be older, we will have them participate in the updates.
In an open adoption, there is an open relationship with the birthparents. Both the adoptive parents and the birthparents work out a schedule that accommodates all parties. Some even arrange holidays and family events.
A very important matter that needs to then be throughly discussed and discerned is regarding the option of a domestic or international adoption. If your choice is to adopt domestically, you will need to abide by your state laws and regulations. If you choose to go the international route, you will need to decipher which country you wish to adopt from.
The country you choose to adopt from may vary as they each their own laws and regulations. For example, there are certain countries in Asia that are not open to prospective adoptive parents having a history of mental illness. In some countries, there are only a certain gender that can be adopted. That is why you need to do your research and ask as many questions as you can to the agency that you are working with.
We chose to adopt domestically as it was the simplest and quickest way for us to become parents. Because of our immigration status, we can almost say that we have adopted internationally since we are only permanent residents.
Once you have settled on these matters, then, the type of baby or child you wish to adopt will be another decision you need to make.
Little side note, when we met with our lawyers, we were asked: What type of baby do you want? I looked at him perplexed and answered: A human one???!!! He asked the question again... My husband then pointed out that what he meant was how open we were when it came to race. Oh!!!
For us, we had no reservations. We wanted to be parents and we did not see any issue with having a child that was not our race. We already knew that they would not look like us, so the race was irrelevant to us.
When deciphering about the race issue, I would say, from experience, that it is important to think about how open will your family be with a child of another race. We met adoptive parents who knew that a child from another race could not be an option. For us, we did not foresee any major issues. It is not to say that we have encountered any, but when we have, we always deal with them head on.
There are more things that you will need to decide upon once you start the process, but the ones mentioned here are the basic ones that you need to get on board from the get go.
There is also the issue of the costs and timeline, but I will write about that in a later post.
If you have any questions or concerns, please share them.
SM
I hope that you are having a good day. If you are not, I hope it does get better.
Going back to the adoption series, I wanted to write about the decisions that you will need to make, once you are ready to go through the adoption route. As I go through them, I will share which ones we chose and why.
The first thing you will need to consider is which agency you will use to help you with your adoption.
After searching the web, you will notice that there are several options that are offered to you. You can go with your local adoption agency, a law firm, a larger-scale organization or a faith-based organization.
Your decision will vary depending on your goals, the costs, the timeline, your immigration status or any other factor which would impact which organization you wish to choose.
We chose to work with the local law firm. To be fair, because of our immigration status, we thought it safer to go with a law firm. We wanted to ensure that all the legal documents and matters were taken care of. The last thing we wanted was to adopt and then be stuck at the border and not be able to cross due to some legal technicality that had not been taken care of.
In addition, this law firm had over thirty years of experience in the field of adoption. They also helped to implement legislation in the domain of adoption and foster care. Moreover, they not only protect the adoptive parents, they also protect the birthparents. You can see that they care about both parties and are mindful of each.
Once you have chosen who you want to work with, you will need to discuss whether you want to have a closed or an open adoption.
In our case, the choice was simple. We have closed adoptions. This means that we did not disclose our identities - we used pseudonyms - or any other information that could be traceable. We have no physical contact with the birthparents, except through a web portal. Through this portal, we exchange pictures and letters, according to a timeline. Once our kids will be older, we will have them participate in the updates.
In an open adoption, there is an open relationship with the birthparents. Both the adoptive parents and the birthparents work out a schedule that accommodates all parties. Some even arrange holidays and family events.
A very important matter that needs to then be throughly discussed and discerned is regarding the option of a domestic or international adoption. If your choice is to adopt domestically, you will need to abide by your state laws and regulations. If you choose to go the international route, you will need to decipher which country you wish to adopt from.
The country you choose to adopt from may vary as they each their own laws and regulations. For example, there are certain countries in Asia that are not open to prospective adoptive parents having a history of mental illness. In some countries, there are only a certain gender that can be adopted. That is why you need to do your research and ask as many questions as you can to the agency that you are working with.
We chose to adopt domestically as it was the simplest and quickest way for us to become parents. Because of our immigration status, we can almost say that we have adopted internationally since we are only permanent residents.
Once you have settled on these matters, then, the type of baby or child you wish to adopt will be another decision you need to make.
Little side note, when we met with our lawyers, we were asked: What type of baby do you want? I looked at him perplexed and answered: A human one???!!! He asked the question again... My husband then pointed out that what he meant was how open we were when it came to race. Oh!!!
For us, we had no reservations. We wanted to be parents and we did not see any issue with having a child that was not our race. We already knew that they would not look like us, so the race was irrelevant to us.
When deciphering about the race issue, I would say, from experience, that it is important to think about how open will your family be with a child of another race. We met adoptive parents who knew that a child from another race could not be an option. For us, we did not foresee any major issues. It is not to say that we have encountered any, but when we have, we always deal with them head on.
There are more things that you will need to decide upon once you start the process, but the ones mentioned here are the basic ones that you need to get on board from the get go.
There is also the issue of the costs and timeline, but I will write about that in a later post.
If you have any questions or concerns, please share them.
SM
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